Living Vegan For Dummies - Alexandra Jamieson [55]
This chapter helps you figure out a way to work with most mixed living situations. Every home is comprised of unique individuals, so unless you’re all holding hands and happily skipping toward vegan utopia, you’ll encounter some bumps in the road. But not to worry. Every kitchen has room for upgrades that can facilitate a calm and civil co-cooking environment. Discovering how to offer a gracious dining experience for nonvegan guests is another topic of concern that I cover here.
Any children in the household can learn valuable lifelong habits about healthy eating and cooking when the topics of menu planning, shopping, ingredient selection, and cooking together are discussed openly and honestly.
Cementing a relationship with the 4 C’s
Every relationship, including marriages, roommate partnerships, and child-parent relationships, requires a bit of work and attention. However, relationships that involve a battle of diets require even more effective effort to achieve success. Remember the 4 C’s when building your household partnerships: clear, consistent, compassionate communication. You may come to an agreement about how to shop, cook, and eat together, but your cohabitants may evolve their diets or get frustrated with previously agreed-to boundaries. The vegan in the house must take it upon herself to generate positive, productive conversations about everyone’s satisfaction with the meals and cooking routines. Don’t let bad moods fester; otherwise they result in blow-up fights, bigger problems, and a tense living environment. Remember that everyone needs to feel respected and valued. You can always find a way to compromise and find options that work for the group as a whole.
Kitchen Etiquette for Mixed Households
Many vegan activists recommend that we be vegangelical with our loved ones and friends, taking every opportunity to point out why their flesh food is hurting their health, the planet, and the animals who unwillingly give it up. However, keep in mind that as you like to have your choices respected, so do they.
Some meat eaters are willing to avoid eating and cooking nonvegan foods around their vegan partners. Others are happy to eat vegan food at home while feeling relaxed enough to order anything outside the home. You just have to figure out what works best for you and those who live under the roof with you. In the illustrious words of Tim Gunn, you can find a way to “make it work.”
If you can’t tolerate living with someone who continues to eat meat or dairy, it’s best to look for people who share your view.
Who’s in a mixed household?
Mixed households can include all sorts of combinations of vegans and nonvegans, including the following:
Multigenerational splits (mom and dad are nonvegan and the two kids are vegan, or vice versa)
Several lifetime vegans
A 50-50 split of 2 meat eaters and 2 vegans
A whole family that has agreed to venture into the vegan lifestyle together
A lone vegan amongst a crowd of omnivores, which is the most common instance
Luckily, no matter what your situation, you can live by your principles for a peaceful, cruelty-free life and still share your kitchen with someone who eats meat and dairy products. It isn’t always easy, so you have to be strong. Every relationship is about giving and receiving, and sharing food is one of the most intimate things we do with the people we love and live with.
Staying sane in a mixed household
Long-time couples who have been happily living and eating together for years may suddenly have major problems when one person decides to change his diet for health, spiritual, or other reasons. When the other person gets angry about the changes or rules required for a vegan diet, it’s important to remind her that you still care about and respect her and her choices. Be honest and tell that person that your dietary changes don’t mean you’re going to judge her or love her any differently.
If your current cohabitant doesn’t fully embrace the