Lord of Raven's Peak - Catherine Coulter [109]
“And his dog is going to sleep in our bed with us tonight, I doubt not. He has discovered that I’m not as strong as Mirana and thus he can lie on me and lick me until his tongue is dry.”
Merrik grabbed her about her neck, leaned down and kissed her hard.
They planned to set sail for Normandy when the moon had reached its half phase some fourteen days later. Merrik would leave Oleg in charge of both the men and Malverne’s defense. Sarla would continue as mistress of the household. Taby was sullen. He had been sullen since his outburst. On the morning of their departure, he allowed Laren to hug and kiss him, but when Merrik went down on his haunches in front of the child, Taby turned away from him.
Laren saw the pain on Merrik’s face. Raw anger shot through her. She grabbed Taby’s arm and jerked him back to face her. “How can you act so to the man who saved your life? The man who also saved my life? The man who will restore you to your proper position?”
He kept his head down, scuffing his bare toes into the hard earth.
“Answer me, Taby! You are of royal lineage and yet you behave like a thrall’s get! What is the matter with you?”
“He doesn’t love me, Laren.”
She jerked back, momentarily stunned. “What did you say?”
“He doesn’t love me. If he did, he wouldn’t leave me, he wouldn’t go tell Uncle Rollo where I was.”
“That is quite enough. Listen to me, Merrik loves you more than he loves anyone on this earth.”
Taby shook his head. “No he doesn’t. If he did, he wouldn’t leave me. He’s even taking you with him.”
“Well, that is different. He finally came to realize that without me, he would have a difficult time convincing Uncle Rollo of anything. I know all the people in Uncle Rollo’s court. I can help him. He needs me. He’s leaving you here so he can be certain you’ll be safe, nothing more. He can’t be worried about you, else he would endanger himself.”
“He doesn’t worry about you?”
“Not overmuch. I have proved I can survive.”
“So have I, Laren.”
“Ah, but you’re a stubborn little pullet.” She ran her fingers through his thick hair. “Listen to me, Taby. Merrik takes me because I will be useful to him. He doesn’t take you because he loves you and doesn’t want to take any chances with your being hurt.”
“He doesn’t care if you’re hurt?”
Even as she shook her head, she knew he did care, but it was nothing compared to his feelings for Taby, feelings she knew he didn’t understand, but so strong nonetheless that he was helpless against them. She accepted that and with the acceptance she felt a lurching of pain deep inside her.
“I won’t be hurt,” she said, rising. She kept her hand on Taby’s shoulder. “I want you to go to Merrik now. Do not use his love for you against him. I expect you to act the man you will one day become.”
Taby looked at her for a very long time. Then he looked toward Merrik who was speaking to Oleg and Roran, his body stiff with silent pain.
He walked slowly to him. When Merrik turned to look down at the boy, the blanked pain in his eyes turned to delight and relief. He clasped the child to him and closed his eyes, even as he spoke quietly in Taby’s ear. What was he telling him? Even when Merrik found his release with her, even when he laughed with her, he had never looked at her with such joy and tenderness. For the first time in her life, Laren found herself jealous of her little brother. She felt sour resentment roil in her belly, and she swallowed, forcing herself to turn away.
She sought out Sarla, to hug her good-bye once again, for there was really no other reason. As they walked side by side down the winding trail to the dock, she told her how to combine cloudberries with mashed hazelnuts to flavor venison-and-onion stew, something she’d already done two days before. Sarla looked earnest and nodded.
20
“ATALE, LAREN, a tale!”
“Aye,” Roran said. “You, mistress, you sit there with nothing to do, doubtless dreaming about that smiling sod, Merrik, whilst we break our backs at the oars.”
The wind had picked up and the men had