Lords and Ladies - Terry Pratchett [120]
Adobe Digital Edition May 2009 ISBN 978-0-06-180752-7
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
About the Publisher
Australia
HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty. Ltd.
25 Ryde Road (PO Box 321)
Pymble, NSW 2073, Australia
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com.au
Canada
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
55 Avenue Road, Suite 2900
Toronto, ON, M5R, 3L2, Canada
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.ca
New Zealand
HarperCollinsPublishers (New Zealand) Limited
P.O. Box 1
Auckland, New Zealand
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.co.nz
United Kingdom
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
77-85 Fulham Palace Road
London, W6 8JB, UK
http://www.uk.harpercollinsebooks.com
United States
HarperCollins Publishers Inc.
10 East 53rd Street
New York, NY 10022
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com
*Probably at the first pawn.
*Three times outright, once after eleven hours extra time, and twice when the other finalists ran away.
*Who was also general poacher, cess-pit cleaner, and approximate carpenter.**
**“With a couple of nails it’ll stay up all right.”
†The thing about iron is that you generally don’t have to think fast in dealing with it.
*Well, it’s like this…The Carter parents were a quiet and respectable Lancre family who got into a bit of a mix-up when it came to naming their children. First, they had four daughters, who were christened Hope, Chastity, Prudence, and Charity, because naming girls after virtues is an ancient and unremarkable tradition. Then their first son was born and out of some misplaced idea about how this naming business was done he was called Anger Carter, followed later by Jealousy Carter, Bestiality Carter, and Covetousness Carter. Life being what it is, Hope turned out to be a depressive, Chastity was enjoying life as a lady of negotiable affection in Ankh-Morpork, Prudence had thirteen children, and Charity expected to get a dollar’s change out of seventy-five pence—whereas the boys had grown into amiable, well-tempered men, and Bestiality Carter was, for example, very kind to animals.
*Ponder was one hundred percent wrong about this.
*Verence and Magrat had a lot in common, really.
*If it wasn’t a big stick.
*It was here that the thaum, hitherto believed to be the smallest possible particle of magic, was successfully demonstrated to be made up of resons **or reality fragments. Currently research indicates that each reson is itself made up of a combination of at least five “flavors,” known as “up,” “down,” “sideways,” “sex appeal,” and “peppermint.”
**Lit: “Thing-ies.”
** Gods like a joke as much as anyone else.
*Except for Nanny Ogg, who did it all the time, although not on purpose.
*As has been pointed out earlier in the Discworld chronicles, entire agricultural economies have been based on the lifting power of little old ladies in black dresses.
*i.e., having a lot of bosk.
*Really true. That’s why people stand aside when kings go past.
*The Lancratians did not consider geography to be a very original science.
*Troll, a lifeform on silicon rather than carbon, can’t in fact digest people. But there’s always someone ready to give it a try.
*Insert the usual “red-hot curried marbles” description here, if you like.
*In the case of the a-Ω Street Mappe of Ankh-Morpork, this would be The Sunshine Home for Sick Dragons in Morphic Street, Please Leave Donations of Coal by Side Door. Remember, A Dragon is For Life, Not Just for Hogswatchnight.
*Shawn Ogg.**
**Except when he was lying down.
*Which is another country.
*But not huge, by wig standards. There have, in the course of decadent history, been many large wigs, often with built-in gewgaws to stop people having to look at boring hair all the time. There had been ones big enough to contain pet mice or clockwork ornaments. Mme. Cupidor, mistress of Mad King Soup II, had one with a bird cage