Loretta Lynn_ Coal Miner's Daughter - Loretta Lynn [32]
I took out this gown; it was white with raised white flowers and leaves on it, thinner than flannel, and to me it was beautiful because I never saw anything like it. It was long and straight and I thought you wore it over everything. I was in bad shape—scared to death, I suppose. So I put the gown over my clothes and came back out.
Doo said, “Hey, you ain’t supposed to wear clothes under your nightgown.”
Well, I went back and took off my dress and left all my underclothes on. He sent me back again. By this time it was three o’clock in the morning. It was getting late, I guess you’d say. So I took off my slip and went back. I guess he didn’t think that was too smart. He really had a time with this little girl he married. He finally more or less had to rip off my panties. The rest of it was kind of a blur. I guess I went into a fit and didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t tell me nothing, so I just lay there.
The next day we were getting hungry and Doo said we should go to this little restaurant next door. But I said I couldn’t go to the restaurant and face all these people who would know what we were doing in the cabin. So for three days I stayed inside while Doo brought me the food. I didn’t know nothing. I could tell you things but they probably couldn’t be printed. I was just so young.
I still think about it every time we go back to Johnson County and we pass that old motel. It’s changed its name but last summer they gave me and Doolittle the key to our old room. Everybody thought that was funny but I said they better be careful or we just might show up some time and use the room. Things might be better this time around.
They couldn’t be much worse. Looking back, I’d say that sex didn’t mean that much to me for a long time. I think I picked up the old woman’s attitude that sex was fun for men—but not for women. Doo even got some sex books for me to read, but it wasn’t until I was older that I started to enjoy it a little more. I didn’t even know that much about my body—having a climax and stuff. It was all a mystery for a long time. When I was in my late twenties, this doctor told me about having a climax—how you could help yourself. I didn’t even know women could do that. But it would be better if men knew more about what pleases women. Being patient, being gentle … I’d have welcomed that.
I can’t say I recommend getting married at thirteen or fourteen. Most of the girls from Kentucky didn’t get married until they were eighteen or nineteen. But today you see younger kids getting married—or just living together. I used to tell people it was “just plain wrong” for kids to sleep together before they got married. But nowadays I don’t want to go telling other people how to live their lives. Maybe living together is a better idea than getting married when you’re so young. It seems like some people don’t start having fights until they get married. Marriage puts pressure on you sometimes, knowing it’s a lifetime deal.
It also helps to know the facts of life when you do get married. I was only married four months when I started getting sick in the morning. I didn’t know what was wrong, so I went down to Doc Turner and told him my symptoms. Doc told me to get undressed and he put this big sheet over me. But I was so embarrassed, I just pulled the sheet over my head, like an ostrich. When he was done, Doc told me I could get dressed again. After that, he put his arm around my waist and he said, “Honey, your trouble is, you’re pregnant.”
“What’s that?” I asked. ’Cause I didn’t know what the word meant.
“You’re gonna have a baby,” Doc said.
“Oh, my gosh!” I said. “I can’t have no babies yet.”
And Doc said: “Well, you’re married, aren’t you? And you sleep with your man, don’t you? So you’re pregnant.”
I couldn’t believe it. Here I used to tell Mommy I didn’t want to rock her babies no more, and now I was gonna have one of my own. All I could think about was