Lost in the Funhouse_ The Life and Mind of Andy Kaufman - Bill Zehme [170]
“As the week went along,” said Ebersol, “I kept saying to Tischler, ‘He’s not going to win this.’ The wrestling had ticked people off. He was going to lose the vote and then we were really going to be in trouble, because if people vote no, then the vote has to hold.” Blaustein said, “I remember late Thursday night we went over to the hotel and said, ‘Andy, just as your pieces have to be real, so does ours. And if they vote you off, you can’t come back—unless we do something at the end, where you run in and cause a disruption and somehow you say the vote was fixed.’ He said, ‘No, I want to keep it real. They’re gonna vote me on.’ We said, ‘But if they don’t, you realize that you can’t ever come back?’”
Clifton could, though—except Ebersol hated Clifton, never wanted Clifton anywhere near the show, nobody liked Clifton, even George had to tell him that Clifton was over, that Clifton did not work, that Clifton was dead, keep the Clifton puppet from the Fun House show and play with the puppet, but there was no way Clifton would be allowed on the show….
Ebersol went to the hotel very late Friday night. He gave his final plea. He told Andy, “Bringing this into a vote is an enormous mistake.” The vote had not been advertised. There would be no loss in killing it. The cast would have time for more sketches. “But the vote is going to lock us in,” he said, “and we’ll have to live with the results.” Andy told him, “No no no no no no—we’ve got to do it!”
He knew he would lose. He told Zmuda. He told George.
George stayed in California. What was the point? They would think of something. Ebersol had discovered Andy, for God’s sake. Ebersol had given him Saturday Night Live! Time would win out somehow.
Zmuda returned to California after the Letterman show. He was working on a screenplay for a movie called D.C. Cab and there was nothing he could do anyway. They spoke on the phone about Clifton, who was dead, which they refused to understand.
November 20, on air, cast member Gary Kroeger:
“… During the next hour, we’re going to be counting these votes, and I want you to remember that this show is live … we’re doing it for real. Andy Kaufman’s career at Saturday Night Live is in your hands. Now, I happen to think that Andy Kaufman is a comedic genius. If you agree with me, call 1-900-720-4101. However, if you think Andy is not funny anymore, if you’ve seen enough of his wrestling women, the Mighty Mouse bits, the phony injuries, the stupid, unfunny hoaxes—if you’ve had enough of this loudmouth, call 1-900-720-4202. You can call as many times as you’d like, but remember each call is gonna cost you fifty cents….”
He was never ahead.
Early tally, on air, cast member Eddie Murphy:
“… This is how you people have voted so far. It’s Keep Andy: 38,945 and Dump Andy: 48,838. [Audience cheers] Now, last [season], I asked the people to call in and save Larry the Lobster from being boiled alive. The response to that was overwhelming, and tonight I’m asking you to vote to save a human being. Isn’t Andy Kaufman worth as much as a lobster? [Shouts of NO!] … You people are sick! …”
End of program, guest host Drew Barrymore and cast stood at homebase stage, Kroeger reported final vote:
Keep Andy: 169,186.
Dump Andy: 195,544.
The lobster poll had drawn a total of 466,548 votes.
His poll inspired a total of 364,730 votes.
One way or another, people had cared more about a lobster.
Ebersol and Tischler walked to the hotel afterward to check on him. “He was disconsolate,” said Ebersol. “He couldn’t believe it. He was very sad. Not angry—sad. I think deep inside he figured that there was some way we were going to deal with this whole thing.” Over the following Thanksgiving weekend, George called Ebersol and said, “Dick, this is a mess. We’re losing bookings. We’ve got to do something about this. It’s really hurting him businesswise.” Ebersol