Love for Love [17]
you can't tell -
MISS. Why, must I tell a lie then?
TATT. Yes, if you'd be well bred. All well bred persons lie.-- Besides, you are a woman, you must never speak what you think: your words must contradict your thoughts; but your actions may contradict your words. So when I ask you if you can love me, you must say no, but you must love me too. If I tell you you are handsome, you must deny it, and say I flatter you. But you must think yourself more charming than I speak you: and like me, for the beauty which I say you have, as much as if I had it myself. If I ask you to kiss me, you must be angry, but you must not refuse me. If I ask you for more, you must be more angry,--but more complying; and as soon as ever I make you say you'll cry out, you must be sure to hold your tongue.
MISS. O Lord, I swear this is pure. I like it better than our old- fashioned country way of speaking one's mind;--and must not you lie too?
TATT. Hum--yes--but you must believe I speak truth.
MISS. O Gemini! Well, I always had a great mind to tell lies; but they frighted me, and said it was a sin.
TATT. Well, my pretty creature; will you make me happy by giving me a kiss?
MISS. No, indeed; I'm angry at you. [Runs and kisses him.]
TATT. Hold, hold, that's pretty well, but you should not have given it me, but have suffered me to have taken it.
MISS. Well, we'll do it again.
TATT. With all my heart.--Now then, my little angel. [Kisses her.]
MISS. Pish.
TATT. That's right,--again, my charmer. [Kisses again.]
MISS. O fie, nay, now I can't abide you.
TATT. Admirable! That was as well as if you had been born and bred in Covent Garden. And won't you shew me, pretty miss, where your bed-chamber is?
MISS. No, indeed won't I; but I'll run there, and hide myself from you behind the curtains.
TATT. I'll follow you.
MISS. Ah, but I'll hold the door with both hands, and be angry;-- and you shall push me down before you come in.
TATT. No, I'll come in first, and push you down afterwards.
MISS. Will you? Then I'll be more angry and more complying.
TATT. Then I'll make you cry out.
MISS. Oh, but you shan't, for I'll hold my tongue.
TATT. O my dear apt scholar!
MISS. Well, now I'll run and make more haste than you.
TATT. You shall not fly so fast, as I'll pursue.
ACT III.--SCENE I.
NURSE alone.
NURSE. Miss, Miss, Miss Prue! Mercy on me, marry and amen. Why, what's become of the child? Why Miss, Miss Foresight! Sure she has locked herself up in her chamber, and gone to sleep, or to prayers: Miss, Miss,--I hear her.--Come to your father, child; open the door. Open the door, Miss. I hear you cry husht. O Lord, who's there? [peeps] What's here to do? O the Father! A man with her! Why, miss, I say; God's my life, here's fine doings towards--O Lord, we're all undone. O you young harlotry [knocks]. Od's my life, won't you open the door? I'll come in the back way.
SCENE II.
TATTLE, MISS PRUE.
MISS. O Lord, she's coming, and she'll tell my father; what shall I do now?
TATT. Pox take her; if she had stayed two minutes longer, I should have wished for her coming.
MISS. O dear, what shall I say? Tell me, Mr Tattle, tell me a lie.
TATT. There's no occasion for a lie; I could never tell a lie to no purpose. But since we have done nothing, we must say nothing, I think. I hear her,--I'll leave you together, and come off as you can. [Thrusts her in, and shuts the door.]
SCENE III.
TATTLE, VALENTINE, SCANDAL, ANGELICA.
ANG. You can't accuse me of inconstancy; I never told you that I loved you.
VAL. But I can accuse you of uncertainty, for not telling me whether you did or not.
ANG. You mistake indifference for uncertainty; I never had concern enough to ask myself the question.
SCAN. Nor good-nature enough to answer him that did ask you; I'll say that for you, madam.
ANG. What, are you setting up for good-nature?
SCAN. Only for the affectation of it, as the women do for ill- nature.
MISS. Why, must I tell a lie then?
TATT. Yes, if you'd be well bred. All well bred persons lie.-- Besides, you are a woman, you must never speak what you think: your words must contradict your thoughts; but your actions may contradict your words. So when I ask you if you can love me, you must say no, but you must love me too. If I tell you you are handsome, you must deny it, and say I flatter you. But you must think yourself more charming than I speak you: and like me, for the beauty which I say you have, as much as if I had it myself. If I ask you to kiss me, you must be angry, but you must not refuse me. If I ask you for more, you must be more angry,--but more complying; and as soon as ever I make you say you'll cry out, you must be sure to hold your tongue.
MISS. O Lord, I swear this is pure. I like it better than our old- fashioned country way of speaking one's mind;--and must not you lie too?
TATT. Hum--yes--but you must believe I speak truth.
MISS. O Gemini! Well, I always had a great mind to tell lies; but they frighted me, and said it was a sin.
TATT. Well, my pretty creature; will you make me happy by giving me a kiss?
MISS. No, indeed; I'm angry at you. [Runs and kisses him.]
TATT. Hold, hold, that's pretty well, but you should not have given it me, but have suffered me to have taken it.
MISS. Well, we'll do it again.
TATT. With all my heart.--Now then, my little angel. [Kisses her.]
MISS. Pish.
TATT. That's right,--again, my charmer. [Kisses again.]
MISS. O fie, nay, now I can't abide you.
TATT. Admirable! That was as well as if you had been born and bred in Covent Garden. And won't you shew me, pretty miss, where your bed-chamber is?
MISS. No, indeed won't I; but I'll run there, and hide myself from you behind the curtains.
TATT. I'll follow you.
MISS. Ah, but I'll hold the door with both hands, and be angry;-- and you shall push me down before you come in.
TATT. No, I'll come in first, and push you down afterwards.
MISS. Will you? Then I'll be more angry and more complying.
TATT. Then I'll make you cry out.
MISS. Oh, but you shan't, for I'll hold my tongue.
TATT. O my dear apt scholar!
MISS. Well, now I'll run and make more haste than you.
TATT. You shall not fly so fast, as I'll pursue.
ACT III.--SCENE I.
NURSE alone.
NURSE. Miss, Miss, Miss Prue! Mercy on me, marry and amen. Why, what's become of the child? Why Miss, Miss Foresight! Sure she has locked herself up in her chamber, and gone to sleep, or to prayers: Miss, Miss,--I hear her.--Come to your father, child; open the door. Open the door, Miss. I hear you cry husht. O Lord, who's there? [peeps] What's here to do? O the Father! A man with her! Why, miss, I say; God's my life, here's fine doings towards--O Lord, we're all undone. O you young harlotry [knocks]. Od's my life, won't you open the door? I'll come in the back way.
SCENE II.
TATTLE, MISS PRUE.
MISS. O Lord, she's coming, and she'll tell my father; what shall I do now?
TATT. Pox take her; if she had stayed two minutes longer, I should have wished for her coming.
MISS. O dear, what shall I say? Tell me, Mr Tattle, tell me a lie.
TATT. There's no occasion for a lie; I could never tell a lie to no purpose. But since we have done nothing, we must say nothing, I think. I hear her,--I'll leave you together, and come off as you can. [Thrusts her in, and shuts the door.]
SCENE III.
TATTLE, VALENTINE, SCANDAL, ANGELICA.
ANG. You can't accuse me of inconstancy; I never told you that I loved you.
VAL. But I can accuse you of uncertainty, for not telling me whether you did or not.
ANG. You mistake indifference for uncertainty; I never had concern enough to ask myself the question.
SCAN. Nor good-nature enough to answer him that did ask you; I'll say that for you, madam.
ANG. What, are you setting up for good-nature?
SCAN. Only for the affectation of it, as the women do for ill- nature.