Love for Love [40]
I'm sick when I think of a man; and if I can't have one, I would go to sleep all my life: for when I'm awake it makes me wish and long, and I don't know for what. And I'd rather be always asleep than sick with thinking.
FORE. Oh, fearful! I think the girl's influenced too. Hussy, you shall have a rod.
MISS. A fiddle of a rod, I'll have a husband; and if you won't get me one, I'll get one for myself. I'll marry our Robin the butler; he says he loves me, and he's a handsome man, and shall be my husband: I warrant he'll be my husband, and thank me too, for he told me so.
SCENE VII.
[To them] SCANDAL, MRS FORESIGHT, and NURSE.
FORE. Did he so? I'll dispatch him for't presently. Rogue! O nurse, come hither.
NURSE. What is your worship's pleasure?
FORE. Here, take your young mistress and lock her up presently, till farther orders from me. Not a word, Hussy; do what I bid you, no reply, away. And bid Robin make ready to give an account of his plate and linen, d'ye hear: begone when I bid you.
MRS FORE. What's the matter, husband?
FORE. 'Tis not convenient to tell you now. Mr Scandal, heav'n keep us all in our senses--I fear there is a contagious frenzy abroad. How does Valentine?
SCAN. Oh, I hope he will do well again. I have a message from him to your niece Angelica.
FORE. I think she has not returned since she went abroad with Sir Sampson. Nurse, why are you not gone?
SCENE VIII.
FORESIGHT, SCANDAL, MRS FORESIGHT, BEN.
MRS FORE. Here's Mr Benjamin, he can tell us if his father be come home.
BEN. Who? Father? Ay, he's come home with a vengeance.
MRS FORE. Why, what's the matter?
BEN. Matter! Why, he's mad.
FORE. Mercy on us, I was afraid of this. And there's the handsome young woman, she, as they say, brother Val went mad for, she's mad too, I think.
FORE. Oh, my poor niece, my poor niece, is she gone too? Well, I shall run mad next.
MRS FORE. Well, but how mad? How d'ye mean?
BEN. Nay, I'll give you leave to guess. I'll undertake to make a voyage to Antegoa--no, hold; I mayn't say so, neither. But I'll sail as far as Leghorn and back again before you shall guess at the matter, and do nothing else. Mess, you may take in all the points of the compass, and not hit right.
MRS FORE. Your experiment will take up a little too much time.
BEN. Why, then, I'll tell you; there's a new wedding upon the stocks, and they two are a-going to be married to rights.
SCAN. Who?
BEN. Why, father and--the young woman. I can't hit of her name.
SCAN. Angelica?
BEN. Ay, the same.
MRS FORE. Sir Sampson and Angelica? Impossible!
BEN. That may be--but I'm sure it is as I tell you.
SCAN. 'Sdeath, it's a jest. I can't believe it.
BEN. Look you, friend, it's nothing to me whether you believe it or no. What I say is true, d'ye see, they are married, or just going to be married, I know not which.
FORE. Well, but they are not mad, that is, not lunatic?
BEN. I don't know what you may call madness. But she's mad for a husband, and he's horn mad, I think, or they'd ne'er make a match together. Here they come.
SCENE IX.
[To them] SIR SAMPSON, ANGELICA, BUCKRAM.
SIR SAMP. Where is this old soothsayer, this uncle of mine elect? Aha, old Foresight, Uncle Foresight, wish me joy, Uncle Foresight, double joy, both as uncle and astrologer; here's a conjunction that was not foretold in all your Ephemeris. The brightest star in the blue firmament--IS SHOT FROM ABOVE, IN A JELLY OF LOVE, and so forth; and I'm lord of the ascendant. Odd, you're an old fellow, Foresight; uncle, I mean, a very old fellow, Uncle Foresight: and yet you shall live to dance at my wedding; faith and troth, you shall. Odd, we'll have the music of the sphere's for thee, old Lilly, that we will, and thou shalt lead up a dance in Via Lactea.
FORE. I'm thunderstruck! You are not married to my niece?
SIR SAMP. Not absolutely married, uncle; but very near it, within a kiss of the matter, as you see. [Kisses ANGELICA.]
FORE. Oh, fearful! I think the girl's influenced too. Hussy, you shall have a rod.
MISS. A fiddle of a rod, I'll have a husband; and if you won't get me one, I'll get one for myself. I'll marry our Robin the butler; he says he loves me, and he's a handsome man, and shall be my husband: I warrant he'll be my husband, and thank me too, for he told me so.
SCENE VII.
[To them] SCANDAL, MRS FORESIGHT, and NURSE.
FORE. Did he so? I'll dispatch him for't presently. Rogue! O nurse, come hither.
NURSE. What is your worship's pleasure?
FORE. Here, take your young mistress and lock her up presently, till farther orders from me. Not a word, Hussy; do what I bid you, no reply, away. And bid Robin make ready to give an account of his plate and linen, d'ye hear: begone when I bid you.
MRS FORE. What's the matter, husband?
FORE. 'Tis not convenient to tell you now. Mr Scandal, heav'n keep us all in our senses--I fear there is a contagious frenzy abroad. How does Valentine?
SCAN. Oh, I hope he will do well again. I have a message from him to your niece Angelica.
FORE. I think she has not returned since she went abroad with Sir Sampson. Nurse, why are you not gone?
SCENE VIII.
FORESIGHT, SCANDAL, MRS FORESIGHT, BEN.
MRS FORE. Here's Mr Benjamin, he can tell us if his father be come home.
BEN. Who? Father? Ay, he's come home with a vengeance.
MRS FORE. Why, what's the matter?
BEN. Matter! Why, he's mad.
FORE. Mercy on us, I was afraid of this. And there's the handsome young woman, she, as they say, brother Val went mad for, she's mad too, I think.
FORE. Oh, my poor niece, my poor niece, is she gone too? Well, I shall run mad next.
MRS FORE. Well, but how mad? How d'ye mean?
BEN. Nay, I'll give you leave to guess. I'll undertake to make a voyage to Antegoa--no, hold; I mayn't say so, neither. But I'll sail as far as Leghorn and back again before you shall guess at the matter, and do nothing else. Mess, you may take in all the points of the compass, and not hit right.
MRS FORE. Your experiment will take up a little too much time.
BEN. Why, then, I'll tell you; there's a new wedding upon the stocks, and they two are a-going to be married to rights.
SCAN. Who?
BEN. Why, father and--the young woman. I can't hit of her name.
SCAN. Angelica?
BEN. Ay, the same.
MRS FORE. Sir Sampson and Angelica? Impossible!
BEN. That may be--but I'm sure it is as I tell you.
SCAN. 'Sdeath, it's a jest. I can't believe it.
BEN. Look you, friend, it's nothing to me whether you believe it or no. What I say is true, d'ye see, they are married, or just going to be married, I know not which.
FORE. Well, but they are not mad, that is, not lunatic?
BEN. I don't know what you may call madness. But she's mad for a husband, and he's horn mad, I think, or they'd ne'er make a match together. Here they come.
SCENE IX.
[To them] SIR SAMPSON, ANGELICA, BUCKRAM.
SIR SAMP. Where is this old soothsayer, this uncle of mine elect? Aha, old Foresight, Uncle Foresight, wish me joy, Uncle Foresight, double joy, both as uncle and astrologer; here's a conjunction that was not foretold in all your Ephemeris. The brightest star in the blue firmament--IS SHOT FROM ABOVE, IN A JELLY OF LOVE, and so forth; and I'm lord of the ascendant. Odd, you're an old fellow, Foresight; uncle, I mean, a very old fellow, Uncle Foresight: and yet you shall live to dance at my wedding; faith and troth, you shall. Odd, we'll have the music of the sphere's for thee, old Lilly, that we will, and thou shalt lead up a dance in Via Lactea.
FORE. I'm thunderstruck! You are not married to my niece?
SIR SAMP. Not absolutely married, uncle; but very near it, within a kiss of the matter, as you see. [Kisses ANGELICA.]