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and opened the portfolio

along the side of the wall.

we were drinking.

she said, “you promised me these

paintings once, don’t you

remember?”

“what? no, no, I don’t remember.”

“well, you did,” she said, “and you

ought to keep your promises.”

“leave those fucking paintings alone,”

I said.

then I walked into the kitchen for

a beer. I paused to vomit

and when I came out

I saw her through my window

going down the court walk

toward her place in back.

she was trying to hurry

and balanced on top of her head

were 40 paintings:

oils

black and whites

acrylics

water colors.

she stumbled once and almost

fell on her ass.

then she ran up her steps

and was gone through her door

to her place upstairs

running with all those paintings

on top of her head.

it was one of the funniest damned

things I ever did see.

well, I guess I’ll just have to

paint 40 more.

waving and waving goodbye

I paid this one’s fare all the way from Houston

to San Francisco

then flew up to meet her at her brother’s house

and I got drunk

and talked all night about a redhead, and

she finally said, “you sleep up there,”

and I climbed the ladder

up into a bunk and she slept

down there.

the next day they drove me to the airport

and I flew back, thinking, well,

there’s still the redhead and when I got back in

I phoned the redhead and said, “I’m back, baby,

I flew up to see this woman and I talked about

you all night, so here I am…”

“well, why don’t you fly back up and finish

the job?” she said and hung up.

then I got drunk and the phone rang

and they said they were

two ladies from Germany and they’d like

to see me.

so they came over and one was 20 and the

other was 22. I told them that my heart

had been smashed for the last time and

that I was giving up women. they laughed

at me and we drank and smoked and went to

bed together.

I got this thing in front of me and

first I grabbed one and then I grabbed the

other.

I finally settled on the 22 year old and

ate her up.

they stayed 2 days and 2 nights

but I never got to the 20 year old,

she was on tampax.

I finally drove them to Sherman Oaks

and they stood at the foot of a long

driveway

waving and waving goodbye as I backed

my Volks out.

when I got back there was a letter from a

lady in Eureka. she said that she wanted me

to fuck her until she couldn’t

walk anymore.

I stretched out and whacked-off

thinking about a little girl I had seen

on a red bicycle about a week ago.

then I took a bath and put on my green

terrycloth robe just in time to get the fights

on tv from the Olympic.

there was a black and a Chicano in there.

that always made a good fight.

and it was a good idea too:

put them in there and let them kill each

other.

I watched the whole fight

thinking about the redhead all the time.

I think the Chicano won

but I’m not sure.

liberty

she was sitting in the window

of room 1010 at the Chelsea

in New York,

Janis Joplin’s old room.

it was 104 degrees

and she was on speed

and had one leg over

the sill,

and she leaned out and said,

“God, this is great!”

and then she slipped

and almost went out,

just catching herself.

it was very close.

she pulled herself in

walked over and stretched

on the bed.

I’ve lost a lot of women

in a lot of different ways

but that would have been

the first time

that way.

then she rolled off the bed

landed on her back

and when I walked over

she was asleep.

all day she had been wanting

to see the Statue of Liberty.

now she wouldn’t worry me about that

for a while.

don’t touch the girls

she’s up seeing my doctor

trying to get some diet pills;

she’s not fat, she needs the speed.

I go down to the nearest bar and wait.

at 3:30 in the afternoon of a tuesday.

they have a dancer.

there’s only one other man in the bar.

she works out

looking at herself in the mirror.

she’s like a monkey

dark

Korean.

she’s not very good,

skinny and obvious

and she sticks her tongue out at me

then at the other man.

times must be truly hard,