Love Is a Dog From Hell_ Poems, 1974-1977 - Charles Bukowski [37]
paintings after I have
made love to her,
and if she can’t paint
she can leave me
a couple of golden earrings
or maybe a slice of ear
in memory of one who
could.
my old man
16 years old
during the depression
I’d come home drunk
and all my clothing—
shorts, shirts, stockings—
suitcase, and pages of
short stories
would be thrown out on the
front lawn and about the
street.
my mother would be
waiting behind a tree:
“Henry, Henry, don’t
go in…he’ll
kill you, he’s read
your stories…”
“I can whip his
ass…”
“Henry, please take
this…and
find yourself a room.”
but it worried him
that I might not
finish high school
so I’d be back
again.
one evening he walked in
with the pages of
one of my short stories
(which I had never submitted
to him)
and he said, “this is
a great short story.”
I said, “o.k.,”
and he handed it to me
and I read it.
it was a story about
a rich man
who had a fight with
his wife and had
gone out into the night
for a cup of coffee
and had observed
the waitress and the spoons
and forks and the
salt and pepper shakers
and the neon sign
in the window
and then had gone back
to his stable
to see and touch his
favorite horse
who then
kicked him in the head
and killed him.
somehow
the story held
meaning for him
though
when I had written it
I had no idea
of what I was
writing about.
so I told him,
“o.k., old man, you can
have it.”
and he took it
and walked out
and closed the door.
I guess that’s
as close
as we ever got.
fear
he walks up to my Volks
after I have parked
and rocks it back and
forth
grinning around his
cigar.
“hey, Hank, I notice
all the women around your
place lately…good looking
stuff; you’re doing all
right.”
“Sam,” I say, “that’s not
true; I am one of God’s most
lonely men.”
“we got some nice girls at
the parlor, you oughta try
some of them.”
“I’m afraid of those places,
Sam, I can’t walk into them.”
“I’ll send you a girl then,
real nice stuff.”
“Sam, don’t send me a whore,
I always fall in love with
whores.”
“o.k., friend,” he says,
“let me know if you change
your mind.”
I watch him walk away.
some men are always on
top of their game.
I am mostly always
confused.
he can break a man
in half
and doesn’t know who
Mozart is.
who wants to listen
to music
anyhow
on a rainy Wednesday
night?
little tigers everywhere
Sam the whorehouse man
has squeaky shoes
and he walks up and down
the court
squeaking and talking to
the cats.
he’s 310 pounds,
a killer
and he talks to the cats.
he sees the women at the massage
parlor and has no girlfriends
no automobile
he doesn’t drink or dope
his biggest vices are
chewing on a cigar and
feeding all the cats in
the neighborhood.
some of the cats get
pregnant
and so finally there are
more and more cats and
everytime I open my door
one or two cats will
run in and sometimes I’ll
forget they are there and
they’ll shit under the bed
or I’ll awaken at night
hearing sounds
leap up with my blade
sneak into the kitchen and
find one of Sam the whorehouse
man’s cats walking around on
the sink or sitting on top
of the refrigerator.
Sam runs the love parlor
around the corner
and his girls stand in the
doorway in the sun
and the traffic signals go
red and green and red and green
and all of Sam’s cats
possess some of the meaning
as do the days and the nights.
after the reading:
“…I’ve seen people in front of
their typewriters in such a bind
that it would blow their intestines
right out of their assholes if they
were trying to shit.”
“ah hahaha hahaha!”
“…it’s a shame to work that
hard to try to write.”
“ah hahaha hahaha!”
“ambition rarely has anything to
do with talent. luck is best, and
talent limps along a little
bit behind luck.”
“ah haha.”
he rose and left with an 18 year old virgin, the most
beautiful co-ed of them
all.
I closed my notebook
got up and limped a
little bit behind
them.
about cranes
sometimes after you get your ass
kicked real good by the