Love You More_ A Novel - Lisa Gardner [147]
Either way, I understand my days as a police officer are over. Frankly, a woman who’s done the things I’ve done shouldn’t be an armed protector of the public. And I don’t know—maybe there is something wrong with me, an essential boundary missing, so that where other mothers would’ve cried for their child, I armed myself to the teeth and hunted down the people who took her instead.
Sometimes, I’m scared by the image that greets me in the mirror. My face is too hard, and even I realize it’s been a long time since I’ve smiled. Men don’t ask me out. Strangers don’t strike up conversations with me on the subway.
Bobby Dodge is right—killing someone is not something to be thankful for. It’s a necessary evil that costs you a piece of yourself and a connection to humanity you never get back.
But you don’t need to feel sorry for me.
I recently started with a global security firm, making more money while working better hours. My boss read my story in the paper and called me with the job offer. He believes I have one of the finest strategic minds he’s ever encountered, with an uncanny ability to foresee obstacles and anticipate next steps. There’s a demand for those kinds of skills, especially in this day and age; I’ve already been promoted twice.
Now I drop off Sophie at school each morning. I go to work. Mrs. Ennis picks Sophie up at three. I join them at six. We eat dinner together, then I take Sophie home.
She and I tend the apartment, do homework. Then, at nine, we go to bed. We share a room. Neither of us sleeps much, and even three months later, we’re still not ready for the dark.
Mostly, we snuggle together, Gertrude nestled between us.
Sophie likes to rest with her head on my shoulder, her fingers splayed in the palm of my hand.
“Love you, Mommy,” she tells me each and every night.
And I say, my cheek pressed against the top of her dark hair: “Love you more, baby. I love you more.”
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AMC’s addictive new series, The Killing.
Premiering Sunday, April 3 at 9/8c . Only on AMC.
Copyright © 2010 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation
All Rights Reserved.
“THE KILLING”
FADE IN:
EXT. GOLDEN GARDENS PARK - WOODS - DAY
Near dawn, sky threatening rain. CAMERA TRACKS behind a lone WOMAN running along a wooded trail and over a bridge over railroad tracks. Breathing hard, pushing herself to the limit, sweatshirt soaked through. At first you wonder if she’s a young girl with her ponytail, small frame, and then you see her eyes — wounded, haunted — and realize she isn’t. Meet Homicide Detective SARAH LINDEN — 37, lone wolf type, solo distance runner, pretty without trying, her smiles rare, her intense eyes strange, unblinking.
SFX: Train HORN. SMASH CUT TO —
EXT. DISCOVERY PARK - FIELD - NIGHT
A screaming young GIRL runs through the tall grass — away from someone — their flashlight cutting the darkness.
EXT. GOLDEN GARDENS PARK - WOODS - DAY
Sarah continues to jog down the trail.
EXT. DISCOVERY PARK - WOODS - NIGHT
Tree limbs, like long fingers, reach down towards the young girl — 17, sweet-faced, child-woman’s body — running hard, clothing torn, hair soaked with sweat. With blood. This is ROSIE LARSEN and she is running for her life.
Crashing through the brush behind her, an UNSEEN ASSAILANT closes in, FLASHLIGHT cutting through the woods.
EXT. GOLDEN GARDENS PARK - WOODS - DAY
Sarah continues jogging — intense, driven.
EXT. DISCOVERY PARK - WOODS - NIGHT
Rosie crouches down, pressing herself into the side of a tree, making herself as small as possible. Rosie’s terrified, bloodshot eyes, the bruises and cuts on her arms, legs, face.