Loving - Henry Green [87]
so much she dribbled. 'Mith Burthen,' she squealed, 'Mitheth Welcheth,' Mary screamed, 'oh Burcheth Welhech,' Raunce echoed and pandemonium reigned. But in his convulsions of laughter Charley was noticeably paler even. For the past fortnight he had been looking very ill. 'Landth thakes Mith Thwift,' howled Edith. By now everyone bar Albert was crying. All wore a look of agony, or as though they were in a close finish to a race over a hundred yards. 'Jethuth,' Raunce moaned. 'Hush dear,' Edith said at once. 'That's not comical dear,' and they began to sober down. 'Moses,' he corrected himself. 'There,' Jane announced between gasps, 'I feel like I'd been emptied.' 'What of duckth?' Kate asked and there blew up another gust of giggling. 'Oh me,' someone remarked weak. 'It's my side,' another said. Then they quietened. 'Well nobody can say we don't have our fun on occasions,' Edith made comment as she dabbed at her great eyes. 'It'd be all right if we was like this every night,' Jane murmured. 'Oh it's not so bad after all.' 'I don't know Edith,' Mary answered. 'You've not got Mrs Welch although I shouldn't mention names.' 'We ain't got her Albert,' Raunce put in. 'It's not him so much,' Jane explained. 'He's well enough conducted indoors in the kitchen,' she said. 'It's Mrs Welch is the matter. Oh I know I shouldn't but she drinks. All the time she drinks. She's only gone in to Dublin to get another crate. She's like the wells, she's runnin' dry. There you are. That's right isn't it Mary or isn't it?' 'It's the honest truth,' Mary said. 'Go on,' Raunce objected, 'but then 'ow does she get the stuff delivered will you oblige me with that? Because I don't need to tell you she's not drawin' a drop out of my cellar. I don't hold with this fiddling like you'll come across in some households.' 'Why,' Jane disclosed in a hushed voice, 'it's the tradesmen. You know she won't 'ave one of us pass the time of day with 'em even. Well you'd never guess what's behind it. I tell you they drop a case of the stuff with the meat and another with the groceries. And the price all included in the monthly books, isn't that so Mary?' 'That's right,' this girl replied. 'The artful old cow,' Raunce exclaimed. 'Charley,' Edith said firm. 'Pardon I'm sure,' he answered gravely, 'but did you ever hear anything to touch this? Fiddlin' 'er monthly books. No. You know that's serious this is.' He was solemn. 'You're tellin' me,' Kate muttered. 'What?' he asked at once and sharp. 'Bless me my gel but you seem to grow more and more sarky every day which passes. What's come over you?' 'Nothin' Mr Raunce.' 'You let her be, Charley,' Edith reproved him. 'She was only agreein'.' 'No offence intended I'm sure,' he assured her. 'But is that what Mrs Welch is up to? Would you believe it?' he enquired of all and sundry in an astounded tone of voice. 'The wickedness there is in this world,' Mary said. 'The wickedness?' he asked gentle but with a sharp look. 'Because that's thievin' that is,' Jane concluded like a little girl put through her catechism. 'You've said it,' Raunce agreed and relaxed. It had plainly been the right answer. 'That's the very word.' Then he quoted Miss Burch with solemnity. 'And the wicked shall flourish even as a green bay tree,' he intoned. Everyone bar Albert seemed to approve. A few days afterwards Edith entered Charley's room as she was coming on her way from tea in the servants' hall. 'Come on out and feed the peacockth,' she proposed, for Paddy had at last consented to free these birds again. She waved a bag she had filled with scraps. 'Steady,' he replied. 'That's no light matter.' 'Why what's up Charley?' 'Nothing,' he answered. 'I know there is,' she said. 'I'm not right,' he went on. 'I vomited this morning another time.' 'Oh dear that's bad,' she said lightly. 'I shouldn't wonder if you made fun of this as you've done before but I love you so much my stomach's all upset an' there you are.' 'So it should be,' she countered as though determined not to worry. 'Yes but what's to be the end?' he asked low. 'I can't go on the way I am.