Luck Be a Lady - Cathie Linz [59]
“Thanks.” Buddy whacked him on the back with enough force to make Logan wince.
“You still pack quite a punch there,” Logan said.
“I’m glad something still works the way it should.”
Logan wasn’t sure he wanted to hear his granddad’s shortcomings or, God forbid, a Viagra confession but wasn’t sure how to stop him without being rude.
“I just don’t seem to have the energy I used to have,” Buddy said. “And don’t you be telling me to go to the doctor.”
“Why not? You just told me to see someone for my nightmares.”
“That’s different.”
“Is it now?” Logan mocked Buddy’s brogue.
“Don’t you be making fun of my accent. I’m Irish born and bred.”
“Until you came to this country with your parents when you were five.”
“Speaking of parents, how’s that dad of yours doing?” Buddy asked.
“He’s dating a girl younger than me.”
“He’s afraid of growing old.”
Logan shrugged. He’d never been able to figure out his dad and he doubted that would ever change.
“Have you told him about the nightmares?” Buddy asked.
“Are we back to that again?”
“Yes, we are. You haven’t told him.”
“He’s the last person I’d tell.”
“You should tell someone before they eat you up inside.”
Logan shrugged. “I’m fine.”
“Sure you are. Come on, boy-o. You haven’t been fine since your partner died in the line of duty.”
“Will was more than a partner. He was like a brother to me.”
“Which made losing him all the harder.”
What made it harder was that Will’s death had been Logan’s fault. Not that he could say that to anyone, even his granddad. Buddy was right about one thing: Keeping quiet was eating him up inside. But that was pittance compared to what Will had gone through.
“You wouldn’t be feeling guilty now, would you?” Buddy asked.
Logan made no reply.
“Because that would be a silly thing to do and nothing that Will would be approving of.” Buddy’s Irish brogue got a little thicker when he was emotional.
Logan didn’t say a word.
“So that’s what the nightmares are about.” Buddy nodded as if proud he’d solved some complicated mystery.
There was no mystery as far as Logan was concerned. Sure, he’d been cleared of any wrongdoing, but that didn’t erase the guilt in his heart. He should have done more—been more aware, been faster.
“You’re replaying that scene again in your head, like some video that won’t turn off.”
Logan remained silent.
“Fine. Don’t say anything. It’s better if I do all the talking anyway. Not that you’ll listen. I can see you’re not there yet. Not ready. But you will be. And it had better be soon, boy-o, because you don’t want those nightmares to win. You don’t want them taking over, spilling into your waking hours. You think I don’t know what you’re going through? I lost friends in the course of my thirty years with the police department.”
“It’s not the same,” Logan muttered.
“How do you know?”
“Because . . .”
“Can’t come up with a reason, can you?”
“I know it’s hard for anyone to lose someone. But ...” Logan shook his head, unable to continue.
“After all this time, you still can’t deal with it. It’s been a year. That’s not a good sign.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
“So what are you going to do about it?”
“What do you propose I do? See some shrink and get tied to desk duty for the rest of my life?”
“Nothing that dramatic. Talk to me, just me—your granddad who knows you like I know my own self. If you don’t want to talk here, we can go to my place or yours. But we need to talk. Youneed to talk. So what’s it going to be? Your place or mine?”
“I’m not ready.”
“Then get ready. Because time is running out. Don’t wait until it completely eats you up inside and something bad happens.”
Logan didn’t have the heart to tell him that something bad had already happened. Not only was he lusting after Megan, he was finding it harder and harder to resist her.
“Thanks for meeting me,” Logan told Megan the next evening. She’d suggested the Comfort Café and he’d agreed. It was near her condo and one of her favorite places to eat. They served comfort food with a twist,