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By Root 2529 0

been so eager to accept an invitation. We ascended in an elevator to a floor I didn’t even know Younkers had. The Tea Room was the most elegant place I had ever been – like a state room from Buckingham Palace magically transported to the Middle West of America. Everything about it was starched and classy and calm. There was light music of a refined nature and the tink of cutlery on china and of ice water carefully poured. I cared nothing for the food, of course. I was waiting only for the moment when I was invited to step up to the toy box and make a selection.

When that moment came, it took me for ever to decide. Every little package looked so perfect and white, so ready to be enjoyed. Eventually, I chose an item of middling size and weight, which I dared to shake lightly. Something inside rattled and sounded as if it might be die cast. I took it to my seat and carefully unwrapped it. It was a miniature doll – an Indian baby in a papoose, beautifully made but patently for a girl. I returned with it and its disturbed packaging to the slightly backward-looking fellow who was in charge of the toy box.

‘I seem to have got a doll,’ I said, with something approaching an ironic chuckle.

He looked at it carefully. ‘That’s surely a shame because you only git one try at the gift box.’

Yes, but it’s a doll,’ I said. ‘For a girl.’

‘Then you’ll just have to git you a little girl friend to give it to, won’tcha?’ he answered and gave me a toothy grin and an unfortunate wink.

Sadly, those were the last words the poor man ever spoke. A moment later he was just a small muffled shriek and a smouldering spot on the carpet.

Too late he had learned an important lesson. You really should never fuck with the Thunderbolt Kid.

Index

Abbott, Anne (i)

Adams, Abigail (i)

Adams, John (i), (ii), (iii), (iv), (v), (vi), (vii)

Constitutional Convention (i)

dislike of Franklin (i)

and White House (i)

Adams, John Quincy (i)

Adams, Samuel (i), (ii), (iii)

advertising (i)

agencies (i)

brand names & trademarks (i)

cars (i), (ii)

methods (i), (ii), (iii)

newspapers & magazines (i)

photography (i)

television & radio (i), (ii)

African weaverbird (i)

AIDS (i)

air-brakes (i)

air-conditioning (i), (ii), (iii)

aircraft (i), (ii)

Albert, Prince (i)

Alcock, John (i)

alcohol (i), (ii)

Alcot, A. Branson (i)

Alcott, Dr William (i)

Allen, Frederick Lewis (i)

Allerton, Remember (i)

Alsop, Joseph (i)

Amana (Iowa) (i)

America (i), (ii), (iii)

economy (i), (ii), (iii)

multiracial society (i)

naming of (i), (ii), (iii), (iv), (v), (vi)

American English language, see English

American Medical Association (i)

American Philosophical Society (i)

American Protective Association (i)

American Revolution (i), (ii), (iii)

Anderson, G.M (i)

Anderson, Walter A (i)

Andrews, Peter (i)

animals (i), (ii), (iii), (iv), (v)

horses (i), (ii), (iii), (iv), (v), (vi)

Anne, Cape (i)

anthem, American (i), (ii)

Anti-Masons (i)

Appalachia (i), (ii), (iii), (iv)

Arbuckle, Fatty (i)

Arkansas (i)

Arlin, Harold W (i)

Armat, Thomas (i)

Armstrong, Neil (i), (ii)

Arnaz, Desi, jun. (i)

Arness, James (i)

Articles of Confederation and Perpetual Union (i), (ii), (iii)

Atlantic Ocean (i), (ii), (iii), (iv)

Auburn State Prison (New York) (i)

automobiles see cars

Autrey, Gene (i)

Bacheller, I (i)

Bacon, Francis (i)

Bailyn, Bernard (i)

Baird, John Logie (i), (ii)

Balboa, Vasco Núnez de (i)

Ball, Lucille (i), (ii)

balloon frame (buildings) (i)

Baltimore (i), (ii), (iii), (iv), (v)

Baltimore, Lord George (i)

banks (i), (ii)

barbed wire (i)

bargin basements (i), (ii)

Barnes City (Iowa) (i)

Barnum. Phineas T (i)

Bartlett, John Russell (i), (ii)

Baruch, Bernard (i)

baseball (i)

basketball (i)

Bassett, E.M (i)

bathrooms (i)

Battle of New Orleans (i)

Beam, C Richard (i)

Beard, Henry (i), (ii)

Beecher, Henry Ward (i)

Bel Geddes, Norman (i)

Bell, Alexander Graham (i), (ii)

Bell Telephone (i)

Benedict, Samuel (i)

Bennett, James Gordon (i)

Benz, Karl (i), (ii)

Berger, Dave (i)

Berlin(Germany) (i)

Berlin, Irving (i)

Berry,