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hydroxide), an additive that makes pickles crispier, gingerbread harder, and maraschino cherries snappier. (Old cookbooks abound in recipes that call for alum.) I found it at Safeway in the spice rack; it looks just like cream of tartar and comes in the same little plastic jar.

I brined a two-pound bag of organic cherries with the alum, then drained, rinsed, and cooked them in a sugar syrup, and let them steep at room temperature for a day. I reheated them and let them sit another day. Then I added lemon juice and almond extract and I sterilized jars to can them. Everyone was going to get a jar of maraschino cherries for Christmas along with a small bottle of bitters. I was all set to can the cherries when I popped one into my mouth. This was the worst cherry yet—salty, sweet, soggy, absolutely revolting. I carried the pan of cherries out to the chickens, and even they weren’t interested and the cherries lay there, soaking dye and alum into the dirt.

Make it or buy it? Buy it.

VERMOUTH

Vermouth is fortified wine infused with herbs, and making it at home is a delightful and ridiculous project. The results can be incredibly delicious. I found a recipe for vermouth on a blog called Last Crumb and this vermouth called for thirty-three ingredients, including dandelion root and pau d’arco, the medicinal bark from a South American tree. I trimmed the ingredient list down to a more manageable twenty-six components and ordered herbs from a botanicals supplier (see Appendix). A few days after that, the herbs arrived, packets of twigs and leaves and roots and barks and powders, enough to make cases of vermouth and clutter the pantry for the rest of my days.

I made my first vermouth that very evening, replacing the recommended brandy with Navan, a vanilla-infused cognac liqueur made by Grand Marnier.

Americans typically use vermouth only as a mixer in martinis and Manhattans, but Italians sip it straight up as an aperitif. Obviously, they are not sipping from $2.99 bottles of plonk; they are sipping Carpano Antica and Punt e Mes. I think this sweetish sipping vermouth belongs in that company.

Make it or buy it? Are you nuts? If so, make it.

Hassle: Sure

Cost comparison: Except the saffron, none of the herbs costs much—a pinch of angelica works out to less than a penny—but since I will never use them for anything else, and have made only three bottles of vermouth, I’m not sure I shouldn’t allot the cost of the whole bag. But I won’t. A bottle of homemade: $11.00. Lillet (the closest comparison): $17.00 per bottle.

INFUSION

5 pinches ground coriander

1 pinch dried sage

3 juniper berries

2 pinches pau d’arco

1 pinch dried oregano

2 pinches crushed dandelion root

1 cinnamon stick

1 star anise

1 pinch cardamom seeds

2 pinches freshly grated nutmeg

1 pinch dried rosemary

2 pinches dried chamomile

1 pinch crumbled angelica root

1 tiny pinch crumbled gentian root

1 pinch dried marjoram

2 pinches fennel seeds

2 pinches ground ginger

1 bay leaf

4 whole cloves

1 pinch saffron threads

3 black peppercorns

5 drops wormwood extract

1 whole vanilla bean

½ cup plus 2 teaspoons sugar

One 750-milliliter bottle dry, cheap, undistinguished white wine

⅔ cup Navan vanilla cognac liqueur, or brandy

1. Put all the infusion ingredients and 2 teaspoons sugar in a small saucepan. Cover with 1 cup of the wine.

2. Simmer gently for 10 minutes to infuse the wine with the flavorings. Cool completely.

3. Into a large, clean jar with a lid, pour the brandy or liqueur and the rest of the wine, leaving room at the top for the infusion. Rinse and reserve the wine bottle.

4. Line a sieve with a coffee filter or very fine-weave cheesecloth, doubled over, and filter the infusion, squeezing out all the precious bitter juice into a bowl.

5. Add half the infusion to the jar and shake. Taste. If you think it needs more flavor, add more infusion. (I used it all.) If you want a dry vermouth for your