Mao's Last Dancer - Li Cunxin [56]
Teacher Xiao and his mango triggered my imagination, and I challenged myself to go a step further. I poured my passion into practicing each ballet movement.
This was the first time I’d had three weeks to myself at the academy. I spent most of my time practicing, slept late some mornings, went to Taoranting Park, ran around the lake and watched people practicing tai chi, visited the Chongs. The time passed quickly. I enjoyed every minute. I couldn’t wait for the second half of the year because I had set myself even higher hurdles to overcome.
The rest of the students returned from holiday and our study resumed as normal. Later that term Yu Fangmei, a former graduate of the academy and a friend of Teacher Xiao’s, returned from Japan and brought back a television, a video player (something so new that we’d never even heard of one before), and some videotapes as gifts to the ballet department. There were videos of Baryshnikov, Nureyev, Margot Fonteyn, even two American-trained dancers—one was Gelsey Kirkland. At first these were shown to the academy officials and teachers as “reference” only. Students were not allowed to be exposed to such bad Western influences.
As I passed Teacher Xiao in the hallway one day he said, “I wish you could see Baryshnikov dancing!”
I had heard about this Russian dancer, the ballet world’s new phenomenon. “Is he better than Vasiliev?” I asked.
“Yes! From the technical point of view. I have never witnessed a more spectacular dancer!”
A couple of days later, all the senior students were called to a studio on the third floor. I immediately noticed the television and video player sitting on a bench.
Zhang Shu waited for the excitement to calm down. “Baryshnikov is probably the most outstanding ballet dancer in the world today. The sole purpose of watching these tapes is for you to learn from him, to make you understand what today’s world dancing standard is. This is not, I repeat, this is not for you to learn about the Western world’s lifestyle! By watching Baryshnikov, you will realize how hard you have to work to reach this same standard of dancing. Today, we’ll show you Baryshnikov’s own production of Nutcracker and The Turning Point.”
I was captivated by Baryshnikov. I had never seen anything like Nutcracker before. Baryshnikov and his partner Gelsey Kirkland danced to a standard far beyond what I thought any dancer was capable of. But the video of The Turning Point totally blew me away. I was mesmerized. I couldn’t take my eyes off Baryshnikov. My heart leaped with each one of his astonishing jumps and accelerating turns. For the first time in my life I saw how truly exquisite ballet could be.
From that moment on I loved ballet with a passion. I dared to believe that if Baryshnikov could dance like that, then so could I. This was how I could make not only my parents but also the whole of China proud.
Now I raced through my meals to get back to the studio to practice my jumps. I woke at five every morning. I strapped sandbags to my ankles and hopped up and down the four flights of stairs in our studio building. I practiced my leaps, covering every inch of whichever studio was vacant. I wanted to fly like the beautiful birds and dragonflies; I wrote the word “fly” on my ballet shoes to remind myself of my goals. I embarked on endless sit-ups and exercises everywhere I could find a flat surface and a few minutes to spare. People thought I had gone mad but I didn’t care. I had only one desire now—to dance like Baryshnikov.
By the end of my sixth year, after all my exercises, practice, and determination, my jumping ability had improved, but I knew there was a long way to go. It was then that Teacher Xiao started to challenge me with my