Mark Thomas Presents the People's Manifesto - Mark Thomas [10]
Let us consider a few examples:
Ann Widdecombe, MP for Maidstone and The Weald, has a publishing contract, writes columns for the Daily Express, does numerous speaking engagements and presents the odd documentary. All of which, with her Parliamentary salary, earned her well over £244,000 last year.11 That is quite a lot of ‘life experience’ to bring into Westminster. So it is a real shame she only managed to turn up and vote on less than half the votes held.12
George Galloway, MP for Bethnal Green and Bow, presents and appears on radio and TV shows and writes newspaper columns. That earns him, including his Parliamentary salary, over £229,000 a year.13 All of which was so exhausting he only managed to speak three times in Parliament last year and turn up for 8 per cent of the votes.14
Alan Milburn, MP for Darlington, spoke at an Avail Consulting event in June 2009 and was paid £9,200.15That same month he spoke in a debate in Parliament, and as that is the only time he spoke in a Parliamentary debate in a year, his earnings for that speech were £64,766.16
13
IF MPS WANT A
SECOND JOB IN ORDER
TO GAIN A GREATER
UNDERSTANDING OF
LIFE OUTSIDE
GOVERNMENT, THEN
THEIR CONSTITUENTS
SHOULD CHOOSE WHICH
JOB THEY THINK WOULD
BEST EXPAND THEIR
MP’S HORIZONS
SO IF MPs are to keep their other jobs, claiming it gives them greater experience of life, then we should be able to choose which job they get. If a democratic vote is good enough to vote them into one job, then it should be good enough to help them choose another. As the original proposer of this policy wrote: ‘They could end up as a non-executive director for an oil company, a classroom assistant or a prisoners’ plaything.’
Here are a few suggestions to be going on with:
Ken Clarke: Hod carrier. This is a kill or cure option.
Nick Clegg: Children’s entertainer and balloon modeller. Not dissimilar from his day job as leader of the Lib Dems.
Harriet Harman: Community Support Officer. She deserves it, they deserve her.
Peter Mandelson: Pizza delivery boy.
Jacqui Smith: Avon lady. She’d enjoy having a good nose around other people’s homes.
George Osborne: Dental nurse. Don’t know why, it just seems right. Perhaps because he’d suit those blue disposable gloves.
David Cameron: Holiday rep in Faliraki.
Gordon Brown: Traffic warden in Lambeth.
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THE POLICE SHOULD
WEAR BADGES WHICH
DISPLAY THE WORDS,
‘HOW AM I POLICING?’
AND ‘I’M HERE TO HELP’
IT STARTED WHEN signs appeared on the back of thundering great 20-wheeled lorries, asking ‘How am I driving?’, as if the hairy-arsed truckers gave a monkey’s for what some twat in a Prius two cars back thought of their signalling skills. And from there it exploded: every company, profession, government department and public body wanted to get ‘feedback’.
I want to see ‘How’s my clowning?’ badges on children’s entertainers, with an 0800 number attached. Traffic wardens should be forced to wear badges saying, ‘Ask me where the free spaces are.’ I keenly await the cold-calling questionnaire that begins, ‘On a scale of one to ten, where one is really dreadful and ten is utter shit, what number would you give Noel Edmonds?’ I want bankers walking around the City with ‘Thanks for the wages’ or just ‘My flash suit, paid for by you’.
Getting the police to wear ‘I’m here to help’ badges would serve as a reminder for all concerned. They would only have to catch sight of themselves in a shop window for a handy aide-mémoire, and protestors would feel able to approach them to ask if they can facilitate their legal rights to protest.
‘How am I policing?’ badges will then enable the public to provide feedback. So the facilitated protestor could phone