Marooned - Christie Golden [18]
Janeway could feel the restlessness on the bridge. No one was brash enough to say anything, but they all chafed at the imposed inaction. They wanted Kes back.
Suddenly Janeway thought of someone who probably wanted Kes back more than anyone else on the ship. He'd been wonderful so far, keeping out of their way and letting them do their jobs. But he had to be hurting.
"Commander, you have the conn. I'll be down in the mess hall." She gave Chakotay a sad little smile. "Enjoying a pot of Neelix's coffee."
THERE WAS THE FAMILIAR SOUND OF BANGING AND CLANGING as Janeway entered the mess hall, and odorssome pleasant, some not so pleasant-assaulted her nose. Just like the rest of them, Neelix was bent on carrying out his duties despite Kes's absence.
But there was no one in the mess hall to either eat the food the Talaxian prepared or push it around on the plate; the rest of the crew was at their stations. No one on the ship took a break to visit the mess hallexcept the ship's captain.
"Hello, Neelix," she said softly, gazing at him with compassion.
He turned around quickly at the sound of his name, and her heart sank even further to see what had happened to him. His muttonchops hung limply. No time-no desire?-to spruce them up this morning. His face was gray and slack, so unlike Neelix's usually animated visage that Janeway felt a twinge of concern for his welfare.
"Oh, good morning, Captain," he said, but there was no warmth and enthusiasm turning the greeting into a verbal hug. The words held no real welcome. "What may I get you?"
"Just some of your coffee, please," Janeway replied. Hoping to enliven the conversation, she added, "Kim and B'Elanna spoke quite highly of it this morning. Said it gave them what they needed to work through the night and figure out a way to track the ships."
Like water on a thirsty plant, Janeway's words worked wonders. Neelix's head came up and his eyes brightened. "Really? They can track the ships now?"
No thought for kind trivialities about the cooking, Janeway mused. His only concern is Kes.
She accepted a mug and downed a swallow, managing not to grimace. It did have a kick like a mule, though, and she was in need of it right now. "Yes indeed. We've been on their trail for the last few hours. We just had a fight with them, too. Perhaps you noticed?"
He frowned, and to her pleasure there was some of the old Neelix annoyance in the expression. "Oh, I noticed. I've spent the last fifteen minutes picking up broken pieces of cookware. And my tulari bulbsbruised beyond salvaging." His chatter broke off, and the mourning and fear settled on him again. "Kes loved-loves-these. I had hoped to prepare them specially, when we got her back."
Janeway laid a hand on Neelix's, the gesture stilling its restless, aimless movements. "Of any ship in the galaxy," she began, "the crew of this one most understands what it's like to lose a loved one. We've all left someone behind-a friend, a parent, a child, a spouse." A lover, her mind added. "And we've all grown closer as a crew as a result. We're all we've got. There's not a person on this vessel who hasn't felt Kes's caring touch as she tended them in sickbay."
She smiled. "Except maybe the doctor. He never gets sick."
But Neelix did not chuckle at the joke. He was looking at her now, his yellow eyes glued to hers, drinking in her words of hope. Briefly, Janeway thought of those she had loved and lost: her father, her fiance Justin, her mother and sister, and dear Mark; two to death, three to distance. She'd had to come to grips with their absence from her life, and even as she formed her next words, she said a silent prayer that events wouldn't make her a liar. She didn't want to lose Kes, and she didn't want to see what that loss would do to the chipper Talaxian.
"We will get her back," she promised, articulating every word clearly and with determination. She gripped his hand. His stubby fingers closed around hers, so hard they hurt. She didn't mind.
With her free hand, she