Meandering Mind - Eva Dillner [8]
For the talking dog exercise you first need to agree on the object to use as a talking dog. Then sit in a circle or around a table. Put the talking dog in the center between you. Take a few moments to quiet yourself, take a few deep breaths and center yourself here and now. Let the days interferences go and focus on being true to yourself in the moment. Each one sits quietly until stirred to speak. When you feel stirred to speak, you pick up the talking dog. Sit with the dog and let yourself be guided to speak, from your heart and your deepest self. Communicate honestly and as free as you can. It's ok to be silent, to take all the time you need. Sometimes you pick up the talking dog and just sit there in silence. When you feel there is no more to be said, put the puppy back in the center.
As one speaks, the others listen. No interruptions are allowed. Focus on listening, hearing and understanding what is being said. Be here now. Don't worry about what you are going to say. Listen to the person speaking. Be here now. Really take in what is being said. If you want the speaker to clarify something, you have to wait your turn as the speaker.
Each time the puppy goes back in the center, wait and see if someone else picks it up. Keep going until the talking stops. There will be a natural ending when all that needed to be said at this time has been said and it's time to close the circle.
Keep this exercise in mind where I suggest you dialogue about your discoveries. For many of the exercises in this book there is an individual part to be done first, followed by a couple or group exercise with dialogue and sharing. Using the talking dog principles will help you get much more out of the dialogue as it makes sure each person gets their input heard and seen.
Five
Puzzle pieces
Have you ever tried to put together a puzzle without knowing what the picture is supposed to look like when it's finished? Of course not, that's not how we do it.
There is an experiment described in Jane Hundley's book The Power of Personal Presence that illustrates the importance of having a clear picture of what the puzzle is supposed to look like. It doesn't matter if you are talking about a regular puzzle or an organization's strategic vision or something in between, the principle is the same. You have to have an idea of what the end product is supposed to look like, to agree on where you are headed or you will be pulling in different directions and not understand why. This applies to relationships where the partners may have totally different values and end goals, or organizations where each participant has their own idea of what it's supposed to look like when they are done.
First, let me describe the puzzle experiment. Then, we'll get back to looking at the implications and applications of the puzzle principle. Jane calls this process Mental Rehearsal:
“The power of mental rehearsal in organizing group thought is profound. An executive tested the idea about group vision. To a group of employees, he gave a puzzle to put together. He told no one what the final picture was supposed to look like. They could not solve the puzzle or put pieces in their place. Then he took one employee at a time into his office, and showed each one a different picture of the completed picture. This produced group confusion, tension and frustration. Then he showed them all at once what the final picture would look like. He gave them the same vision. They put the puzzle pieces together in no time at all.”
from The Power of Personal Presence by Jane Hundley
This concept was forcefully brought home to me when I got involved with the Swedish Cultural Center in Seattle. In it's heyday they had 10,000 members, which by now had dwindled