Message in a Bottle - Nicholas Sparks [47]
His father watched him in silence for a moment before asking the next question carefully. “But if she were still here and you knew where she was, do you think you would?”
Garrett looked away without answering, and Jeb reached across the table, taking his son’s arm. Even at seventy his hands were strong, and Garrett felt him applying just enough pressure to get his attention.
“Son, it’s been three years now. I know you loved her, but it’s okay to let it go now. You know that, don’t you? You’ve got to be able to let it go.”
It took a moment for him to answer. “I know, Dad. But it’s not that easy.”
“Nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy. Remember that.”
A few minutes later they finished their coffee. Garrett tossed a couple of dollars onto the table and followed his father out of the diner, toward his truck in the parking lot. When Garrett finally got to the shop, a dozen different things were going through his head. Unable to concentrate on the paperwork he needed to do, he decided to go back to the docks to finish working on the engine he had started repairing the day before. Though he definitely had to spend some time in the shop today, at the moment he needed to be alone.
Garrett pulled his toolbox from the back of his truck and carried it to the boat he used when he taught scuba diving. An older Boston Whaler, it was large enough to carry up to eight students and the necessary gear needed for underwater dives.
Working on the engine was time-consuming but not difficult, and he’d made good headway the day before. As he removed the engine casing, he thought about the conversation he’d had with his father. He’d been right, of course. There wasn’t any reason to continue feeling the way he did, but—as God was his witness—he didn’t know how to stop it. Catherine had meant everything to him. All she’d had to do was look at him and he’d feel as if everything were suddenly right in the world. And when she smiled… Lord, that was something he’d never been able to find in anyone else. To have something like that taken away… it just wasn’t fair. And more than that, it just seemed wrong. Why her, of all people? And why him? For months he had lain awake at night, asking himself “What if.” What if she’d waited an extra second before crossing the street? What if they had lingered at breakfast for another few minutes? What if he’d gone with her that morning instead of going straight to the shop? A thousand what ifs, and he was no closer to understanding the whole thing than he had been when it first happened.
Trying to clear his mind, he concentrated on the task at hand. He removed the bolts that held the carburetor in place and removed it from the engine. Carefully he began to take it apart, making sure nothing was too worn inside. He didn’t think that this was the source of the problem, though he wanted a closer look just to make sure.
The sun rose overhead as he worked steadily, and he found himself wiping the sweat as it formed on his forehead. Yesterday at about this time, he remembered, he’d watched as Theresa walked down the docks toward Happenstance. He’d noticed her right away, if for no other reason than she was alone. Women who looked as she did almost never came down to the docks alone. Usually they were accompanied by wealthy, older gentlemen who owned the yachts that were moored on the other side of the marina. When she stopped at his boat, he’d been surprised, though he’d expected her to pause for only a moment before moving on to her final destination. That’s what most people usually did. But after watching her for a little while, he realized that she had come to the docks to see Happenstance, and the way she kept pacing around made it seem as if she were there for something else as well.
His curiosity aroused, he’d gone over to speak with her. At the time, he didn’t notice it, but when he was closing up the boat later in the evening, he realized there was something odd in the way she had first looked at him. It was almost as if she recognized something about