Message in a Bottle - Nicholas Sparks [69]
Catherine put her hands on her hips and stretched her back, making a small grimace as she did so.
“You okay?”
“Just stiff, is all. I was tired the whole time I was there, and my back’s been kind of achy for a couple of days.”
She started toward the front door, Garrett right beside her.
“Catherine, I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry about the way I acted before you left. I’m glad you went, but I’m even happier that you’re back.”
“Garrett, talk to me.”
She stared at him, concerned. Finally he spoke:
“Theresa… it’s just so hard right now. The things I’ve been going through…”
He trailed off, and Theresa suddenly knew what he was talking about. She felt her stomach tighten.
“Is this about Catherine? Is that what this is about?”
“No, it’s just that…” He paused, and she knew with a sudden sinking sureness that she’d been right.
“It is, isn’t it? You don’t want to even try with us… because of Catherine.”
“You just don’t understand.”
Despite herself, she felt a flash of anger. “Oh, I understand. You were able to spend time with me this week, simply because you knew I’d be leaving. And then, once I was gone, you could go back to what you had before. I was just a fling, wasn’t I?”
He shook his head. “No, you weren’t. You weren’t a fling. I really care about you—”
She stared hard at him. “But not enough to even try to make this work.”
He looked at her, pain evident in his eyes. “Don’t be like this….”
“How should I be? Understanding? Do you want me to simply say, ‘Oh, okay, Garrett, we’ll just end it here because it’s difficult and we won’t be able to see each other very much. I understand. It was nice meeting you.’ Is that what you want me to say?”
“No, that’s not what I want you to say.”
“Then what do you want? I’ve already said I’m willing to try…. I’ve already said that I’d like to try—”
He shook his head, unable to meet her eyes. Theresa could feel tears beginning to form.
“Look, Garrett, I know you lost a wife. I know you suffered terribly for it. But you’re acting like a martyr now. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. Don’t throw it all away by living in the past.”
“I’m not living in the past,” he said defensively.
Theresa fought back her tears with effort. Her voice softened.
“Garrett… I may not have lost a wife, but I did lose someone I really cared about, too. I know all about pain and hurt. But to be quite frank, I’m tired of being alone all the time. It’s been over three years for me—just like you—and I’m tired of it. I’m ready to go on now and find someone special to be with. And you should, too.”
“I know that. Don’t you think I know that?”
“Right now, I’m not so sure. Something wonderful has happened between us, and I don’t want us to lose sight of that.”
He paused for a long moment.
“You’re right,” he began, struggling with his words. “In my mind, I know you’re right. But my heart… I just don’t know.”
“But what about my heart? Doesn’t that matter to you at all?”
The way she looked at him made his throat tighten.
“Of course it does. It matters more than you think.” When he reached out to take her hand, she flinched and he saw how much he had hurt her. He spoke gently, trying to control his own emotions.
“Theresa, I’m sorry for putting you—putting us—through this on our last night. I didn’t mean for it to happen. Believe me, you weren’t a fling for me. God—you were anything but that. I told you I really care about you, and I mean that.”
He opened his arms, his eyes pleading with her to come to his side. She hesitated for a second, then finally leaned into him, myriad conflicting feelings rushing through her. She lowered her face onto his chest, not wanting to see his expression. He kissed her hair, speaking softly as his lips fluttered over her.
“I do care. I care so much that it scares me. I haven’t felt like this in so long, it’s almost like I’ve forgotten how important another person could be to me. I don’t think I could just let you go and forget you, and I don’t want to. And I definitely don’t want