Middle of Everywhere - Mary Bray Pipher [109]
Our shopping trip took a long time. They regarded the packages as we might regard objets d'art. They'd pick them up, examine them from all angles, and then discuss them intently in Dinka. Every row displayed a new set of exhibits. I explained what I could, but soon they were overloaded with food facts. The family passed the candy section and Joseph bought a bag of suckers. They had seen suckers before and were happy to find them in America. It was typical of Joseph's good leadership to buy a small treat for his family when they needed one.
By the end they were tired. They rolled our carts into line and with great curiosity watched the moving belt convey our products past the checker. As the clerk rang up our purchases, the family watched the computer screen above us as if it were a TV set. When the clerk asked Joseph for his food stamps, he handed him all of his coupons. The clerk counted out what he needed and handed the rest back. Joseph thanked him politely. He never got too tired to be polite.
Another time I picked up Joseph for a job interview. He wore a suit donated by a friend of mine, a good expensive suit. He had never had a real job before and was very eager to work. Before we left his place, I gave him a watch, that omnipresent American tool. I explained dry cleaning, so that he wouldn't ruin his suit the first time it got dirty.
There were many things to explain. I rationed lessons so that I wasn't lecturing all the time. But today I explained snow days. We were expecting a blizzard and I didn't want Paid, Martha, and Abraham struggling through a storm to schools that might be closed. Joseph was astonished that in America there was ever a time when schools shut down, when things didn't work.
On the way to the job interview, we prepared for potential questions. We talked about Joseph's work in Africa. I worried that he would be too quiet. He wasn't good at asking for or sharing information. I knew it was the Dinka way to be silent, but I encouraged him to speak up at the interview.
He looked scared and I said, "I know this is hard. Eventually, you will figure everything out."
The interview went fine. Joseph was quiet, but poised, and the interviewer liked him. Within a month of arriving in Nebraska, he had found a job. Now he would have to support his family of four on his wages.
Birthdays
The family had been assigned arbitrary birthdays when they came to America. Abraham's nineteenth birthday was the first one in Nebraska. We brought him a cake decorated with basketballs and bikes. We carried it to their apartment along with candles, matches, and presents.
Abraham greeted us. He was proud that he had a new job serving tables and washing dishes at a sorority. We kidded him about the Dinka custom of many wives and asked how many of the girls he would marry. Abraham said that if they were traditional Dinka, the brothers would have had their bottom teeth removed in a manhood ceremony. Jim asked how they felt about missing this ceremony and Abraham laughed and replied, "Very good."
Paul helped me light the candles. They had never seen candles before, much less a birthday cake. I carried the cake to their small coffee table and placed it in front of a rather embarrassed Abraham. Jim and I sang "Happy Birthday" and the others joined in when they could. We told Abraham to blow out the candles. He blew in short little bursts, taking forever to get all the candles blown out. Everyone laughed with him.
Soon after Abraham's birthday, Joseph had a birthday. Many friends were at the house that day, including their new neighbors, Mohamed and Bintu from Sierra Leone. They greeted us warmly and Mohamed spoke with great earnestness and intelligence about the problems of his country. Bintu struck me as kindhearted and beautiful. It was hard to believe she had just arrived from a refugee camp