Middle of Everywhere - Mary Bray Pipher [65]
We moved back to "sad." Deena felt sad in Bosnia whenever she heard gunfire. Mai said, "I felt sad when my mother died." Grace hugged her and said, "I am glad you told us that." Khoa said, "I would feel sad if a dog barfed on me." Everyone laughed.
Pavel said, "I am sad when kids pick on me." That led to a discussion of bullies and prejudice, which all of the kids had experienced. It was hard to sort out which were usual school bully stories and which were stories of prejudice. These kids, like the African Americans they feared, were sometimes unfairly pegged as having a host of undesirable qualities.
Grace talked about prejudice, about how it came from fear and ignorance and about how it could hurt people's feelings. She asked the class to promise her they wouldn't be prejudiced and hurtful of others. They solemnly nodded.
She said that if the kids were picked on, they should tell a teacher. Abdul made his fists like boxing gloves and said, "I would fight the bullies." All of the boys loudly agreed. Ly said, "I don't think a teacher could help." Silently, I had to agree with Ly.
Khoa said that he had bad dreams after he stayed up watching horror movies with his brothers. I wished his brothers were a little more protective of him. Better role modeling at home could make a big difference. Pavel and Ignazio also had been frightened by "bad movies." The kids interrupted each other with stories of scary things. I thought of Adrienne Rich's line, "That which cannot be spoken becomes unspeakable." Better to speak here where the kids had Grace, myself, and the pets to calm them down afterward.
Grace handed out paper and crayons and asked the kids to draw pictures of bad dreams they'd had. Trinh drew a picture of a car following her home from school. Ignazio drew a picture of big dogs chasing him and wrote, "A dog chased me." Then he said to Grace, "That's me. I have a gun." Grace said, "I hope it's a tranquilizer gun."
Mai drew a house fire with her baby brother and stepmother on the second floor looking out a window and she and her father standing outside. After all his statements about having no fear, Abdul could think of nothing to draw. I reflected on the irony that he'd been bombed and seen his brother freeze to death. Yet, he insisted he had no fear. Walat, who had been quiet during the discussion, drew a picture of airplanes with bombs dropping from their bellies. I wondered if he, like Abdul, had been bombed.
Khoa, the best artist in the class, drew himself in bed with two ghosts and a glittery disco ball above him. He drew himself sleeping with a sword by his side. He said, "I'm not scared. I boogie with the ghosts." Then he danced salaciously for the benefit of us all.
Grace looked through the drawings then said, "Before you go today, I think we should draw a happy picture." All the students spent a few minutes drawing something that made them smile.
March 15, 2000
It was a gorgeous spring morning. The sycamore hadn't yet leafed out, but soon it would. Fatima waved her cast-free arm at me. Ly came over to hug me and she kept hugging me. Khoa asked me to sit by him. Much to my surprise, Trinh smiled at me. She must have had a wild bout of spring fever.
I asked Abdul how he was. He said proudly that he was working on pipes in the boys' bathroom. He said, "I don't have time to come to class. I should be helping Mr. Trvdy."
Grace whispered about the conference with Abdul's mother, who had come with a translator. The mother was pregnant, due in May. Grace told her that Abdul wasn't ready to pass into the next grade. The mother told Grace that in the old country kids were beaten if they didn't learn and she recommended that the school whip Abdul. When Grace explained that we don't do that in America, the mother hadn't been pleased.
When the mother talked about the war, she broke into sobs.