Middle of Everywhere - Mary Bray Pipher [69]
Liem was born about a year after his father was released from the camp. Although the family lived in a village of fishermen, they couldn't afford to eat the fish his father caught, and Liem often went to bed hungry. His parents had to borrow money to send him to school, and the teachers were harsh.
In 1992 the family came to America. On the plane, the family didn't eat; they had never seen Western food and didn't know how to use the utensils the airline provided. They were frightened of the airport's elevator; they didn't know how to work the controls and felt as if they were locked in a moving box. In Lincoln they were met by Liem's uncle, who had a one-bedroom apartment for his family of six. The first few months fifteen people lived in that apartment.
Eventually Liem's dad found a job as a janitor and his mom was hired at an electronics plant. His dad learned a little English, but his mother gave up and Liem spoke only Vietnamese with his parents. The family rented their own small house in "Little Vietnam" and joined the Buddhist temple. Liem said, "My parents have two rules for me: No trouble and all As."
The third day in Nebraska, Liem walked to middle school. It was a sleety day and he had no jacket, but mostly he trembled from fear. He spoke no English and worried the American kids would make fun of him and beat him up, both of which they did. He knew that his parents had sacrificed everything so that he could be educated and he was determined to be an A student.
He met other Vietnamese students and kind teachers. Soon he was playing soccer and making good grades. Any word he didn't know he wrote down and looked up in the dictionary. He memorized these word lists conscientiously.
After school he helped with chores, studied, and cared for his younger siblings. In the summer he hoed beans and detassled corn. He'd been invited into a gang but he declined. He was friendly with Vietnamese gang kids, but not too friendly.
Liem was an expert at cultural switching. He said, "I'm an American teenager at school, but at home I am Vietnamese." He was horrified by how American kids talked about their parents. He would never drink, smoke, or disobey his family, and he wouldn't date until after college.
One day when it was very cold, Liem had walked to Holmes Park and snapped a picture of the frozen lake. He'd sent this picture to Vietnam where it had utterly confused his relatives. They couldn't figure out the milky hard water with people skating on it.
Liem had gone back to visit his grandmother for a month. He'd fished, played soccer, and savored his grandmother's cooking. He sighed as he talked about that time. He was grateful for Nebraska's economic rewards and educational system, but he missed the communal life of Vietnam.
Liem wanted a college degree, a high-paying job, and a quiet life helping his parents. He was worried about his ACT scores and his essay writing. His only goal was to be a good son. He had many of the attributes of resilience and a strong family and community. Even with their limited English and scant understanding of American culture, his parents were managing to keep him on a good course and away from gangs. Because he was bright, studious, and young when he came here, Liem was likely to make it into college. But it would take every calorie of energy he and his family had to make this happen.
ANTON
"I saw my father and grandfather shot in our living room."
Anton was a tall and well-dressed Bosnian boy with big brown eyes. Superficially, he had good social skills, but underneath he was immature. He had had no childhood. He'd had too many dislocations and witnessed too many murders. He was constantly in over his head.
I saw Anton for an evaluation. The referral said Anton was struggling with grades. That was a kind way to put it; I saw no evidence he was actually struggling. His teachers were worried about suicide or that he might provoke the gang kids into hurting him. Anton had no common sense and a kind of manic energy that