Middle of Everywhere - Mary Bray Pipher [73]
Their teacher said, "We are in America now. At school everyone deserves respect for trying to learn."
Refugee students in high school seem more affected by poverty than do younger kids. They are more sensitive about class and status differences. Except for the gang kids, the ELL students can't afford the designer clothes many American kids wear. Most wear Goodwill clothes, although some kids do amazingly well with what they pull from used clothing boxes. Other kids have parents who spend their meager salaries buying them a pair of designer jeans or Doc Martins. One particularly cold year a teacher bought all the ELL kids hats and gloves for the holidays. Several marveled that they had something actually new to wear.
Some teens learn all the wrong things about America. Instead of listening to their teachers, they listen to their peers, the media, and ads. Sometimes when parents realize they have lost control and that their children are in trouble, they return to their old countries to save the teenager from American problems.
Boys, especially, are trapped in a weird bind. Their peers teach them that "to act white" is to be disloyal to their ethnic group. Studying, making good grades, being polite, or joining school clubs are all defined as "acting white." So the boys must choose between social acceptance by peers and meeting parental expectations. Many conform their way into being rebellious at school. They learn not to learn.
The Vietnamese gang boys are a good example of the perils and complexity of cultural switching. They are an odd combination of playful and tough. They often take on a "tough guise" in class. But they don't date and many work after school and hand their mothers their checks. When a community celebration occurs, they show up with their families and act like good sons, but some are dealing drugs, stealing cars, and robbing their own people.
There are Bosnian gangs, Kurdish gangs, and Latino gangs as well. The gangs meet two legitimate needs—the need for a peer community and the need for power. Gangs are default communities that exist because there is nothing better.
However, in spite of some sad stories, results from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health show a remarkably high level of general adjustment in refugee kids. They tend to make grades that are equal to or better than those of American kids and they are less likely to drop out of school. They are physically and mentally healthier. As teens they are less likely than American kids to use drugs and alcohol, to be obese, or to have asthma. This study found a high level of self-esteem compared to native-born kids. In fact, with acculturation, the well-being of refugee students actually decreases. The longer kids are in America, the less time they spend on homework and the more likely they are to be sexually active.
On the surface, it seems as if American teens would be happier than refugee teens. They generally have more money and fewer obstacles in their paths. However, American kids have much more exposure to a toxic media culture then do most of the refugee kids. They don't necessarily have the newcomer zest of refugee kids. Also, being useful gives humans great pride and satisfaction. Overcoming obstacles and transcending difficulties builds self-regard. Refugee students know they are vital to their family's functioning. American kids sometimes feel like they are a drain on family resources.
Few American students in Lincoln were interested in the ELL students. Schools often have what Jesse Jackson called "the illusion of inclusion." There are bright posters on the walls of kids of all colors, but there is little real mingling or appreciation of differences. At school, American kids never suspected that the Dinka student they passed