Middle of Everywhere - Mary Bray Pipher [84]
Clearly he had been a good man. Unlike some Muslim men, he'd wanted his daughters to attend college and to go out with their friends. He'd told his family, "I love education and I love freedom. Why would I not want these things for my daughters?" He'd also said, "My girls are good girls. I can trust them anywhere with the family honor."
I dug out some tissue and waited while Jasminka cried. Finally she wadded up the Kleenex and smiled bravely. Her soup was cold and she pushed it away. She said, "I am too fat." I said, "You have the American attitudes toward weight." She shrugged and sighed, "It is the universal attitude now."
Jasminka looked at me as if to say, "Listen carefully. You really need to understand what I will tell you next." Then she continued. After her father's death, the family was strapped for cash. The second oldest brother drove a delivery truck. He was quite successful, but every day he was in danger of being shot.
In 1998 this brother was arrested and imprisoned for his KLA activities. Jasminka's voice rose as she told me about this horrible time. Many men got sick or died in prison. Others went crazy from fear and torture. In April 1999, many Albanians in Kosovo were slaughtered by the Serbs. Jasminka trembled as she told me of the night the Serbs came to her house. She said, "The Serbs did terrible things to women."
Seeing her struggle to control her face, I extended my hand. She was quiet for a few minutes. Then she said, "I would like to remember nothing."
I said, "It's hard to forget and hard to remember."
She said, "My mother told me to pretend I was having a bad dream."
She swallowed and continued. Shortly after that night, Jasminka, her mother, and her four younger siblings escaped to Macedonia by train. Jasminka said, "I had to leave my kitten behind. I don't know if she is alive today." Of the journey, Jasminka said, "We were loaded like cattle into the cars." Her brother had escaped from prison, but he stayed behind to fight in the KLA.
At the Macedonian border they were stalled for several days, sleeping in muddy fields beside the train. They had no food, water, or blankets, not even newspapers to cover their heads. Then they were admitted into a crowded and unsanitary camp. During the five weeks her family was there, they were not able to take showers or have a hot meal.
Jasminka said her mother helped her survive this place. Her mother believed that even the worst life was better than death. Jasminka said, "I don't believe that, but our lives did get better."
After five weeks in the camp, the family was flown to the United States and assigned to Lincoln. They would have much preferred to live in Germany or Sweden; none of them spoke English and they hated to be so far from their own country. But they had no money, no papers, and no choices. Jasminka said, "My mother cried all the way across the ocean."
In Lincoln she and her mother found jobs sorting mail. She worked nights and finished her senior year in high school during the day. At first, she was terrified of Americans. Some students were racist, but the teachers were kind and she loved to learn. She said, "My father would be proud to see me in college."
After high school, Jasminka had enrolled in the community college. She said, "I made some friends at college. One American girl has helped me in every way she could. I invited her home to meet my family. But most of the students are too immature and wild."
She was deeply upset about pregnancies without marriage. She also disliked some of her classmates' sloppy dress and their obsession with getting high or drunk. She said, "Sometimes guys I hardly know put their hands on me." She made a grimace of disgust. "They should respect women more."
Jasminka showed me a picture of her mother, a pretty woman who looked like Jasminka, and she said, "I could never lie to my mother. She would look in my