Mildred Pierce - James M. Cain [100]
"It certainly would seem, after all that work—"
"Can't you understand anything at all? They don't pay off on work, they pay off on talent! I'm just no good! I'M NO GOD-DAMN GOOD AND THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT!"
When a shoe whizzed past her head, Mildred went out, picked up her handbag, and started over to Beverly. She felt no resentment at this tirade. She had got it through her head at last that something catastrophic had happened to Veda, and that it was completely beyond her power to understand. But that wouldn't stop her from trying, in her own way, to think what she could do about it.
CHAPTER XIII
IN A DAY OR SO, feeling that Veda was the victim of some sort of injustice, Mildred decided that the Messrs. Hannen and Treviso weren't the only teachers in Los Angeles; that battles aren't won by quitting, but by fighting hard; that Veda should go on with her music, whether the great masters liked it or not. But when she outlined this idea to Veda, the look frŕm the bed cut her off in the middle of a sentence. Then, unable to give up the idea that Veda was "talented," she decided that aesthetic dancing was the thing. There was a celebrated Russian dancer who often dined at Laguna, and this authority was sure that with Veda's looks and good Russian instruction, things might still be straightened out. But at this Veda merely yawned. Then Mildred decided that Veda should enter one of the local schools, possibly Marlborough, and prepare herself for college. But this seemed a bit silly when Veda said: "But Mother, I can't roll a hoop any more."
Yet Veda continued to mope in her room, until Mildred became thoroughly alarmed, and decided that whatever the future held, for the present something had to be done. So one day she suggested that Veda call up some of her friends and give them a little party. Conquering her loyalty to the house, the conviction that it was good enough for anything Veda might want to do in it, she said: "If you don't want to ask them here, why not Laguna? You can have a whole room to yourself. I can have Lucy fix up a special table, there's an orchestra we can get, and afterwards you can dance or do anything you want."
"No, Mother. Thanks."
Mildred might have persisted in this, if it hadn't been for Letty, who heard some of it. In the kitchen she said to Mildred: "She ain't going to see none of them people. Not them Pasadena people."
"Why not?"
"Don't you know? After she's been Mr. Hannen's candy kid? The one that was going to New York and play the pyanner so they'd all be hollering for her? You think she's going to see them people now, and just be Veda? Not her. She's the queen, or she don't play. She ain't giving no party, and you ain't either."
"I've simply got to do something."
"Can't you leave her alone?"
Letty, a devoted worshipper of Veda's by now, spoke sharply, and Mildred left the kitchen, lest she lose her temper. Leaving Veda alone was something that hadn't entered her mind, but after she cooled off she thought about it. However, she was incapable of leaving Veda alone. In the first place, she had an honest concern about her. In the second place, she had become so accustomed to domineering over the many lives that depended on her, that patience, wisdom, and tolerance had almost ceased to be a part of her. And in the third place, there was this feeling she had about Veda, that by now permeated every part of her, and colored everything she did. To have Veda play the piece about rainbows, just for her, was delicious. To have her scream at her was painful, but bearable, for at least it was she that was being screamed at. To have her lying there on the bed, staring at the ceiling, and not even thinking about