Minding Frankie - Maeve Binchy [137]
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It was true what they had been saying: if people remember you, then you’re not dead. It was very comforting.
At the church, Father Flynn kept the ceremony very short. One Our Father, one Hail Mary and one Glory Be to the Father. A Moroccan boy played “Amazing Grace” on a clarinet. And a girl from Poland played “Hail, Queen of Heaven” on an accordion. Then it was over.
People stood around in the sunshine and talked about Muttie. Then they made way back to his home to say good-bye.
Properly.
Chapter Thirteen
Everyone in St. Jarlath’s Crescent was the poorer after Muttie’s death, and people tried to avoid looking at the lonely figure of Lizzie standing by her gate, as she always had. It was as if she were still waiting for him. Of course, everyone rallied round to make sure that she wasn’t alone, but one by one her children went back to their lives in Chicago and Australia; Cathy went back to her catering company. The twins were busy working at Ennio’s and deciding on their future.
Everyone was slowly getting back to life, but with the knowledge that Lizzie had no life to get on with.
One night she might be invited to Charles and Josie’s, but her eyes were far away as they talked of the campaign for the statue. Sometimes she went to sit with Paddy and Molly Carroll for an evening, but there was a limit to what she could listen to about Molly’s work at the thrift shop or Paddy’s confrontations at the meat counter. She had no tales of her own to tell anymore.
Emily Lynch was sympathetic company; she would ask questions about Lizzie’s childhood and her early working days. She took Lizzie back to a time before Muttie, to places where Muttie had never walked. But then she couldn’t expect Emily to be there all the time. She seemed to be very friendly with Dr. Hat these days. Lizzie was glad for her but at the same time she mourned Muttie.
There were so many things she wanted to tell him. Every day she thought of something new: how Cathy’s first husband, Neil, had come to the funeral and said that Muttie was a hero; how Father Flynn had blown his nose so much they thought he might have perforated an eardrum and how he had said the kindest things about Muttie and Lizzie’s wonderful extended family.
Lizzie wanted to tell Muttie that Maud would be getting engaged to Marco and that Simon was happy about it and was still thinking of going to New Jersey. She wanted to discuss with him whether she would stay on in the house or get a smaller place. Everyone advised her that she must make no decisions for at least a year. She wondered would Muttie think that was wise.
Lizzie sighed a lot these days but she tried to smile at the same time. People had always found good humor and smiles in this house, and it must not change now. It was when she was left alone in their little house that the smiles faded and she grieved for Muttie. She often heard his voice coming from another room, just not quite loud enough for her to hear what he said. When she made tea in the morning, she automatically made a cup for him; she set a place for him at mealtimes, and the sadness of it filled her with desolation.
Her bed felt huge and empty now, and when she slept, she did so with her arm around a pillow. She dreamed of him almost every night, sometimes good dreams of happy days and joyful times; often they were terrible dreams of abandonment, loss and sorrow. She didn’t know which was worse: every morning she woke afresh to the knowledge that he was gone and he would never come back. It would never be all right again.
Dr. Hat suggested to Emily that they go for a picnic, as the summer had finally arrived and the days were long and warm. Emily suggested Michael come with them, though for some reason Dr. Hat looked a bit odd when she raised it. She made formal egg sandwiches and filled two flasks with tea. She brought chocolate biscuits in a tin and they drove in Dr. Hat’s car out to the Wicklow Mountains.
“It’s amazing to