Minding Frankie - Maeve Binchy [21]
Mrs. Monty was now going into a residential home where, sadly, Caesar would not be welcome; and since Charles had agreed to take him, she wanted to thank the kind employee who had given the little spaniel such a good home. She was also going to make a donation to a charity of his choice. It would be a wonderful start to the fund-raising.
Charles was allowed to bring a small number of family and friends. As well as Josie, Emily and Noel, he thought he would invite Paddy and Molly Carroll and the Scarlets, Muttie and Lizzie.
“Will Noel be able to come, do you think?” Emily’s voice was slightly tart.
“Well, here he comes now—we can ask him!” Josie cried out happily.
Noel listened carefully, arranging his face in various receptive expressions as the excitement of the good-bye celebrations was revealed.
Emily knew the technique: she recognized it from her father. It was a matter of saying as little as possible and therefore cutting down on the possibility of being discovered to be drunk.
Eventually he had to speak. Slowly and carefully he said that he would be privileged to be part of the ceremony.
“It would be great to be there when they are honoring you,” he said to his father.
Emily bit her lip. At least he had been able to respond adequately. He had managed not to rain on his father’s parade.
“There’s some lamb stew left, Noel. I’ll heat it and bring it up to you,” she said, giving him permission to leave before his mask of sobriety collapsed.
“Thank you, Emily, I’d love that,” he said and fled to his room after shooting a grateful look in her direction.
When she went in with the tray, he was sitting in his chair with tears streaming down his face.
“Oh, Lord, Noel, what is it?” she asked, alarmed.
“I’m utterly useless, Emily. I’ve let everyone down. What’s the use of my going on, waking in the morning and going to bed at night? What good does it serve?”
“Have your supper, Noel. I brought you a pot of coffee as well. We have to talk.”
“I thought you didn’t talk to me anymore,” he said with a great sniff and wiping his eyes.
“I thought that you were avoiding me,” she said.
“I didn’t want to come home and have you being cold and distant. I don’t have any friends, Emily. I have no one at all to turn to.…” His voice sounded lost and frightened.
“Eat your supper, Noel. I’ll be here,” she said. And she was there while he told her how despairing he was and what a hopeless father he would be to any child.
She listened and then said simply, “I hear all that and you may well be right. But then again it might be the making of you, and Frankie. She might make you into the kind of person you want to be.”
“They’d never let me keep her … the social welfare people …”
“You’ll need to show them what you’re made of.”
“It’s better they don’t know,” Noel said.
“Please, Noel, no self-pity. Think—think what you should do next. A lot of lives will be affected by it.”
“I couldn’t bring the child here,” he said.
“It was time for you to move on anyway.” Emily was as calm as if they were discussing what to have for lunch tomorrow, rather than Noel’s future.
Next morning, Stella looked up from the magazine she was reading as a shadow fell on her bed. It was Noel, carrying a small bunch of flowers.
“Well, hello!” she said. “How did you get in? It isn’t visiting time.”
“Am I interrupting you?” he asked.
“Yes, I’m reading about how to put more zing back into my marriage, as if I knew what either zing or marriage was!”
“I came here to ask you to marry me,” he said.
“Oh, Christ, Noel, don’t be such an eejit. Why would I marry you? I’ll be dead in a few weeks’ time!”
“You wouldn’t say the baby was mine if it wasn’t. I would be honored to try to bring her up.”
“Listen, marriage was never part of it.” Stella was at a complete loss.
“I thought that’s what you wanted!” He was perplexed now.
“No. I wanted you to look after her, to be a dad for her, to keep her out of the lottery of the care system.”
“So will we get married, then?”
“No, Noel, of course we won’t, but if you do want to talk