Mindset _ The New Psychology of Success - Carol S. Dweck [109]
You ask them what they did to overcome the initial difficulties and they teach you their mental and physical techniques. As you begin to feel more integrated into the team, you realize you’re part of an organization that wants to help you grow, not judge and belittle you. Rather than worrying that they overpaid for your talent, you begin to give them their money’s worth of incredibly hard work and team spirit.
PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT TO CHANGE
Entitlement: The World Owes You
Many people with the fixed mindset think the world needs to change, not them. They feel entitled to something better—a better job, house, or spouse. The world should recognize their special qualities and treat them accordingly. Let’s move to the next dilemma and imagine yourself in this situation.
THE NEXT DILEMMA. “Here I am,” you think, “in this low-level job. It’s demeaning. With my talent I shouldn’t have to work like this. I should be up there with the big boys, enjoying the good life.” Your boss thinks you have a bad attitude. When she needs someone to take on more responsibilities, she doesn’t turn to you. When it’s time to give out promotions, she doesn’t include you.
THE FIXED-MINDSET REACTION. “She’s threatened by me,” you say bitterly. Your fixed mindset is telling you that, because of who you are, you should automatically be thrust into the upper levels of the business. In your mind, people should see your talents and reward you. When they don’t, it’s not fair. Why should you change? You just want your due.
But putting yourself in a growth mindset, what are some new ways you could think and some steps you could take? For example, what are some new ways you could think about effort? About learning? And how could you act on this new thinking in your work?
Well, you could consider working harder and being more helpful to people at work. You could use your time to learn more about the business you’re in instead of bellyaching about your low status. Let’s see how this might look.
THE GROWTH-MINDSET STEP. But first, let’s be clear. For a long time, it’s frightening to think of giving up the idea of being superior. An ordinary, run-of-the-mill human being isn’t what you want to be. How could you feel good about yourself if you’re no more valuable than the people you look down on?
You begin to consider the idea that some people stand out because of their commitment and effort. Little by little you try putting more effort into things and seeing if you get more of the rewards you wanted. You do.
Although you can slowly accept the idea that effort might be necessary, you still can’t accept that it’s no guarantee. It’s enough of an indignity to have to work at things, but to work and still not have them turn out the way you want—now, that’s really not fair. That means you could work hard and somebody else could still get the promotion. Outrageous.
It’s a long time before you begin to enjoy putting in effort and a long time before you begin to think in terms of learning. Instead of seeing your time at the bottom of the corporate ladder as an insult, you slowly see that you can learn a lot at the bottom that could help you greatly on your rise to the top. Learning the nuts and bolts of the company could later give you a big advantage. All of our top growth-mindset CEOs knew their companies from top to bottom, inside out, and upside down.
Instead of seeing your discussions with your colleagues as time spent getting what you want, you begin to grasp the idea of building relationships or even helping your colleagues develop in ways they value. This can become a new source of satisfaction. You might say you were following in the footsteps of Bill Murray and his Groundhog Day experience.
As you become a more growth-minded person, you’re amazed at how people start to help you, support you. They no longer seem like adversaries out to deny you what you deserve. They’re more and more often collaborators