Mindset _ The New Psychology of Success - Carol S. Dweck [47]
Tiger Woods and Mia Hamm are two of the fiercest competitors who ever lived. They love to win, but what counted most for them is the effort they made even when they didn’t win. They could be proud of that. McEnroe and Beane could not.
After the ’98 Masters tournament, Woods was disappointed that he did not repeat his win of the previous year, but he felt good about his top-ten finish: “I squeezed the towel dry this week. I’m very proud of the way I hung in there.” Or after a British Open, where he finished third: “Sometimes you get even more satisfaction out of creating a score when things aren’t completely perfect, when you’re not feeling so well about your swing.”
Tiger is a hugely ambitious man. He wants to be the best, even the best ever. “But the best me—that’s a little more important.”
Mia Hamm tells us, “After every game or practice, if you walk off the field knowing that you gave everything you had, you will always be a winner.” Why did the country fall in love with her team? “They saw that we truly love what we do and that we gave everything we had to each other and to each game.”
For those with the fixed mindset, success is about establishing their superiority, pure and simple. Being that somebody who is worthier than the nobodies. “There was a time—I’ll admit it,” McEnroe says, “when my head was so big it could barely fit through the door.” Where’s the talk about effort and personal best? There is none. “Some people don’t want to rehearse; they just want to perform. Other people want to practice a hundred times first. I’m in the former group.” Remember, in the fixed mindset, effort is not a cause for pride. It is something that casts doubt on your talent.
WHAT IS FAILURE?
Finding #2: Those with the growth mindset found setbacks motivating. They’re informative. They’re a wake-up call.
Only once did Michael Jordan try to coast. It was the year he returned to the Bulls after his stint in baseball, and he learned his lesson. The Bulls were eliminated in the play-offs. “You can’t leave and think you can come back and dominate this game. I will be physically and mentally prepared from now on.” Truer words are rarely spoken. The Bulls won the NBA title the next three years.
Michael Jordan embraced his failures. In fact, in one of his favorite ads for Nike, he says: “I’ve missed more than nine thousand shots. I’ve lost almost three hundred games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot, and missed.” You can be sure that each time, he went back and practiced the shot a hundred times.
Here’s how Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the great basketball player, reacted when college basketball outlawed his signature shot, the dunk (later reinstated). Many thought that would stop his ascent to greatness. Instead, he worked twice as hard on developing other shots: his bank shot off the glass, his skyhook, and his turnaround jumper. He had absorbed the growth mindset from Coach Wooden, and put it to good use.
In the fixed mindset, setbacks label you.
John McEnroe could never stand the thought of losing. Even worse was the thought of losing to someone who was a friend or relative. That would make him less special. For example, he hoped desperately for his best friend, Peter, to lose in the finals at Maui after Peter had beaten him in an earlier round. He wanted it so badly he couldn’t watch the match. Another time, he played his brother Patrick in a finals in Chicago, and said to himself, “God, if I lose to Patrick, that’s it. I’m jumping off the Sears tower.”
Here’s how failure motivated him. In 1979, he played mixed doubles at Wimbledon. He didn’t play mixed doubles again for twenty years. Why? He and his partner lost in three straight sets. Plus, McEnroe lost his serve twice, while no one else lost theirs even once. “That was the ultimate embarrassment. I said, ‘That’s it. I’m never playing again. I can’t handle this.’”
In 1981, McEnroe bought a beautiful black Les