Miranda's Big Mistake - Jill Mansell [146]
`Well, thanks. Now let me give you my solicitor's address-'
`I could pick you up after work, if you like. Talk about it then. You haven't even seen my flat yet, have you?'
It was the casual shrug that did it. The innocent, oh-socasual shrug accompanying the boyish smile. Like a great gong clanging in the pit of her stomach, Chloe remembered when she'd encountered these particular signals before. Oh yes, almost four years ago, just after she and Greg had first met. When he was doing his damnedest to charm her into going to bed with him.
And now, incredibly, here it was again, unchanged in every detail, the mating ritual of the greater crested wally.
Well, well, who'd have thought it? Some men, marvelled Chloe, really were in a class of their own.
Stifling the urge to shriek with laughter, she fixed him with a sultry gaze - well, as sultry as she could manage at short notice - and lowered her voice to a whisper.
`What would we do when you'd finished showing me your flat? Or,' her smile was slow, complicit, `can I guess?'
Greg grinned. Of course, she hadn't had sex for… how long? Seven months? Blimey, talk about a cat on heat, she must be desperate.
`Don't see why we can't have a bit of fun.' He cocked a playful eyebrow at her. `For old times' sake.'
Picking up another asparagus stem, Chloe snaked it slowly through the puddle of hollandaise sauce on her plate.
`You mean, bed-type fun?'
`Why not?' Mesmerised, Greg watched her eat the asparagus. Jesus, was she doing that on purpose? `Just because we're getting divorced doesn't mean we can't enjoy each other's company every now and again.'
Actually it was a pretty exciting thought - illicit sex was always so much more of a thrill than the ordinary kind.
`I don't know.' Chloe frowned and laced her fingers together. `I'm just a bit worried…'
`About damaging the baby? Don't be!' Greg, who had heard all about this on a recent radio phone-in, broke in eagerly. `I promise you, it doesn't hurt the baby, not one bit.'
`I wasn't thinking about the baby,' said Chloe.
`It won't hurt you either - I'll be gentle, I swear I will!' `Look, I'll tell you what's bothering me,' Chloe said patiently. `Think back to when you were six or seven years old, okay? Your front teeth are loose and you keep
wobbling and wobbling them but they won't come out. Remember that?'
She stopped. Baffled, Greg nodded.
`Well, yes.'
`Good. And there was always some older boy in your street, telling you that what you needed to do was tie one end of a piece of string around your wobbly tooth and the other end to a door handle. Then someone else slams the door shut and your tooth is yanked out and blood gushes everywhere… remember that story as well?'
`Uh, yes, I suppose so.' Greg shrugged, mystified by all this.
`Right. Well, the thing is, I'm just a tiny bit worried that when I do exactly the same thing to your bits and pieces' - Chloe's gaze flickered sorrowfully in the direction of his groin - `it might hurt you.'
It took a couple of seconds for this to sink in. Greg's face fell. Finally, to make sure he'd got it right, he said, `So you're saying you don't fancy a quickie, just for the hell of it?'
`You mean one with no strings attached?' Chloe couldn't resist the pun. `I don't think so, thanks all the same. In fact, if I'm honest I'd rather stick red-hot pins under my fingernails and jump blindfold into a snake pit than have sex with you.'
`I only offered because I felt sorry for you,' Greg hissed back. `I mean, Christ, who else would want to?'
Their waiter reappeared with the pudding menu.
`The coffee and walnut tart sounds gorgeous.' Chloe smiled up at him. `But I have to get back to work. Could you possibly wrap a piece up for me?'
Blushing furiously, the young waiter said, `I can put it in a patisserie box if you like. Stop it getting squashed.'
The possibility of an entertaining evening having crumbled to dust, Greg scraped back his chair.
`If you can't even be civil, I don't see why I should have to pay for