Miranda's Big Mistake - Jill Mansell [152]
`Oooh… no.'
`What did he want?'
Breathe in, breathe out… phew.
`Just to have sex with me,' panted Chloe.
Fenn almost cannoned the Lotus into the lorry in front. Christ, don't say she had!
Chloe laughed at the expression on his face. `No, I
did not.'
**
Relief flooded through Fenn's system like nicotine.
`We're getting a divorce.'
`Well, good.'
She shifted on her seat. `I'm really sorry, you should have sat me on a bucket. I've leaked through everything.'
Fenn glanced across, taking in the flushed cheeks and damp strands of hair clinging to Chloe's forehead. He couldn't begin to describe how he felt about her.
Aloud he said, `Oh well, better get out then, and walk.' By the time they reached the maternity wing of the Chelsea and Westminster, Chloe was puffing away like a bicycle
pump. Directed to the waiting area by the receptionist while her hospital notes were located, she leaned on Fenn for
support before sinking gratefully on to an uncomfortable orange plastic chair. A television was on in the corner, showing an episode of Oprah. Three other couples were there too, the women panting away just like she was, while the men - looking deeply self-conscious - massaged their partners' backs.
Chloe realised that she was squeezing Fenn's hand. How on earth had that started?
`D'you want me to do that?' Fenn nodded at the men, keeping his voice low.
Embarrassed - because actually she did - Chloe whispered, `Don't worry, I'm fine.'
The situation grew more surreal over the course of the next few minutes. Chloe watched the nurses flitting back and forth past the door of the waiting room. Apart from the occasional groan, the only sound in the room came from the TV in the corner, where Oprah was hosting a timely debate on the subject: `My Kids Wrecked My Life'.
Nobody had the nerve to change channels. The women clutched their stomachs and concentrated on their breathing. Two of the men silently watched a teenage boy on the TV jab a finger at his weeping mother and yell: `Mom, ah wish ah'd nevah bin born!' The other man rubbed feebly at his wife's spine with one hand while surreptitiously turning the pages of Caravanning Today with the other.
The next minute, without speaking, the wife slid down from her chair and arranged herself on all fours on the floor. She crouched there, panting like a dog, then glanced over her shoulder, snatched Caravanning Today out of her husband's hand and snarled irritably, `Robert, did I say you could stop massaging my back?'
Chloe stifled a terrible urge to giggle. She found a clean tissue in one of her pockets and stuffed it into her mouth.
Over on the TV, Mom yelled back, `Well, ah hate you too, ya little shit!'
Fenn's chair was shaking. He was trying as hard as she was not to laugh. Leaning across, Chloe whispered, `You don't have to stay.'
As she said it, one of the other women - not to be outdone - let out a howl like a mountain wolf and moved down from her own chair to lie curled up on the extra-durable - i.e. texture of a Brillo pad - beige carpet. She began to hum, then chant a mantra.
`Omi matani… omi matani…
The woman's eyes were closed. She rocked gently from side to side in her floral dungarees. Her husband, more embarrassed than ever, muttered, `That's it, honey, you're doing great, you're swimming with the dolphins… just picture yourself swimming with those dolphins…'
Chloe snorted and buried her face in Fenn's shirt. He was shaking so much he couldn't speak.
`You'd better go,' she gasped.
`You're joking. I wouldn't miss this for the world.' `Mrs Malone? Chloe Malone?'
Her eyes still streaming with suppressed laughter, Chloe looked up at the nurse before her. Hooray, they'd found her notes at last; now she could go and lie down somewhere and get loads of drugs.
`That's me.'
The nurse consulted Chloe' s maternity notes, then glanced at Fenn. `And you're the birth partner?' She frowned, recognising his face from somewhere. `It says here M. Carlisle.'
Fenn looked at Chloe. Getting her out of that phone box and into hospital had been his prime concern. Once that