Mirror Space - Marianne de Pierres [30]
‘That is what I thought. Will you help me?’
She slipped her arm across his body and squeezed hard: her unspoken answer.
Thales felt her tremble. She cared for him, that was clear. But what could he give her in return? Could he give her love? He didn’t know. Rene was still his wife. And Bethany . . . Bethany was comfort and a reasoned voice. Bethany was experience. Beth was .. .
He kissed her cheek and settled into her embrace.
Thales started awake some time later from a dream. He felt hot. The room was too warm, as though the climate setting had been altered.
And Beth was not there.
He lay quietly for a moment listening for sounds of her in the bathroom. She was not modest in the way Rene had been and didn’t require privacy when at her ablutions. She’d scorned his natural reserve, describing what it had been like on Dowl in the confinement module.
‘Josef and Pet know my backside better than I do,’ she’d old him without joking.
Muffled sounds brought him more thoroughly awake. The bathroom door was open but the door through to their living area was closed. It hadn’t been before they went to bed. What was she doing out there that might cause disturbance? Was she unable to sleep?
Concern and curiosity pulled him from the bed. He moved quietly to the door, pausing to lean his ear to it. Distressed noises filtered back to him.
He pushed the door open.
Bethany stood over near the apartment’s front door, her figure lit by the door icons. The front of her nightdress was open, her eyes closed and mouth creased in pain. Beside her was a stranger; a heavily gilled and scaled Mioloaquan with modified limbs and primitive facial features. The Mio’s sharp teeth and fish mouth were clamped around her nipples and its fins were lashing at her side, whipping against her flesh.
‘Beth!’ he gasped in a strangled voice.
She swivelled, eyes flicking open, pleasure-glazed and confused. When she saw Thales her expression sharpened. The Mio pulled his teeth roughly from her breast. Thales did not miss the flush spreading across her chest and the quickening of her breath at the pain.
‘What. . .’ He went no further with his question, but turned and slammed the bedroom door on her. He sat on the edge of the bed feeling sick and faintly - disgustingly - aroused.
And angry.
Why had she done this? And almost before his eyes?
He knew of masochism. It was an ancient practice. But on Scolar it was understood that deviant sexual practices were a sign of sublimated frustrations and low self-worth, not a true, healthy expression of sexuality. Neither he nor Rene would ever entertain such thoughts or practices.
Rene. He wanted to leave right then. Run to his home, and his wife, and his bed; to the comfort of the things that he knew and trusted.
But that was fallacy. Rene had betrayed him as well.
‘Thales?’ Beth switched on the light as she entered the room and came to stand in front of him.
He couldn’t look at her; could think only of the pleasure in her glazed eyes.
‘I’m sorry not to have been more discreet. But sometimes I need more than what we share.’
‘Need more? Are you saying that I cannot please you?’ he said hoarsely.
She didn’t look guilty. Nor did she seem to want forgiveness. ‘I care for you. You’re pure, Thales; so naive and idealistic. But that is not enough. I have sought pain for a long time. It’s part of me, and you are only temporary. A beautiful, temporary gift. You have a wife, Thales, who you yearn to see. You are . . . what I might have been.’
His head jerked up.
This time she gave a hollow laugh. ‘You didn’t need to tell me about her. Nothing could be more obvious. Even you could not pretend that what you feel for me is anything more than convenience.’ She reached forward and stroked his hair. ‘I don’t judge you for it, Thales. So please don’t judge me. You asked me for comfort and I gave it to you. Would you deny me the same even if my comfort sometimes takes a different form?’
She sounded calm, but he detected the brittleness in her voice.
‘Your brother knows of your. . . preferences, doesn’t he?’
She removed