Mistakes Were Made - Carol Tavris [136]
14 Jacobson and Christensen, Acceptance and Change in Couple Therapy, note 3, discuss new approaches to help partners accept each other rather than always trying to get the other to change.
15 Vivian Gornick (2002), “What Independence Has Come to Mean to Me: The Pain of Solitude, the Pleasure of Self-Knowledge,” in Cathi Hanauer (ed.), The Bitch in the House. New York: William Morrow, p. 259.
CHAPTER 7
Wounds, Rifts, and Wars
1 Our portrayal of this couple is based on the story of Joe and Mary Louise in Andrew Christensen and Neil S. Jacobson (2000), Reconcilable Differences, New York: Guilford, p. 290.
2 The story of the Schiavo family battle is drawn from news reports and the in-depth reporting by Abby Goodnough for The New York Times, “Behind Life-and-Death Fight, a Rift that Began Years Ago,” March 26, 2005.
3 Sukhwinder S. Shergill, Paul M. Bays, Chris D. Frith, and Daniel M. Wolpert (2003, July 11), “Two Eyes for an Eye: The Neuroscience of Force Escalation,” Science, 301, p. 187.
4 Roy F. Baumeister, Arlene Stillwell, and Sara R. Wotman (1990), “Victim and Perpetrator Accounts of Interpersonal Conflict: Autobiographical Narratives about Anger,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59, pp. 994–1005. The examples of typical remarks are ours, not the researchers’.
5 Luc Sante, “Tourists and Torturers,” The New York Times op-ed, May 11, 2004.
6 Amos Oz, “The Devil in the Details,” the Los Angeles Times op-ed, October 10, 2005.
7 Keith Davis and Edward E. Jones (1960), “Changes in Interpersonal Perception as a Means of Reducing Cognitive Dissonance,” Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 61, pp. 402–410; see also Frederick X. Gibbons and Sue B. McCoy (1991), “Self-Esteem, Similarity, and Reactions to Active versus Passive Downward Comparison,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60, pp. 414–424.
8 David Glass (1964), “Changes in Liking as a Means of Reducing Cognitive Discrepancies between Self-Esteem and Aggression,” Journal of Personality, 32, pp. 531–549. See also Richard M. Sorrentino and Robert G. Boutilier (1974), “Evaluation of a Victim as a Function of Fate Similarity/Dissimilarity,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 10, pp. 84–93; and Richard M. Sorrentino and Jack E. Hardy (1974), “Religiousness and Derogation of an Innocent Victim,” Journal of Personality, 42, pp. 372–382.
9 Yes, he really said it. See Derrick Z. Jackson, “The Westmoreland Mind-Set,” Boston Globe, July 20, 2005. Westmoreland made these remarks in the 1974 Vietnam documentary Hearts and Minds. According to Jackson, “The quote so stunned director Peter Davis that he gave Westmoreland a chance to clean it up.” He didn’t.
10 Ellen Berscheid, David Boye, and Elaine Walster (Hatfield) (1968), “Retaliation as a Means of Restoring Equity,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 10, pp. 370–376.
11 Stanley Milgram (1974), Obedience to Authority. New York: Harper & Row, p. 10.
12 On demonizing the perpetrator as a way of restoring consonance and maintaining a belief that the world is just, see John H. Ellard, Christina D. Miller, Terri-Lynne Baumle, and James Olson (2002), “Just World Processes in Demonizing,” in M. Ross and D. T. Miller (eds.), The Justice Motive in Everyday Life. New York: Cambridge University Press.
13 John Conroy (2000), Unspeakable Acts, Ordinary People. New York: Knopf, p. 112.
14 Bush made his remark on November 7, 2005, after news that detainees were being held in secret “terror jails” and the abuses at Abu Ghraib prison had been exposed. Inhofe made his comments on May 11, 2004, during the Senate Armed Services Committee hearings regarding abuses of Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison. In February 2004, the International Committee of the Red Cross had issued its findings, “Report of the International Committee of the Red Cross ( ICRC) on the Treatment by the Coalition Forces of Prisoners of War and Other