Mists of Avalon - Marion Zimmer Bradley [252]
“I am not a mare,” said Gwenhwyfar coldly, “and twice I have miscarried. Would you expose me again to that, Arthur?”
“Yet you cannot stay here. This place cannot be properly defended,” said Arthur distractedly, “and we may march out with the army at any time! Nor is it fair to ask your women to stay with you and risk being caught by the Saxons. I am certain it will not harm you, dear wife, there were pregnant women with those who left for Camelot last week—and you cannot stay here with all your women gone, it will be an armed soldier’s camp, no more, my Gwen!”
Gwenhwyfar looked at her ladies. “Will not one of you stay with her queen?”
“I will stay with you, cousin, if Arthur permits,” said Elaine. And Meleas said, “I will stay, if my lord does not mind, though our son is already at Camelot—”
“No, Meleas, you must go to your child,” Elaine said. “I am her kinswoman and I can endure anything Gwenhwyfar can endure, even to live in an armed camp with the men.” She came and stood beside Gwenhwyfar, holding her hand. “But could you not travel in a litter? Camelot is so much safer.”
Lancelet got up and came to Gwenhwyfar. He bent over her hand and said in a low voice, “My lady, I beg you to go with the other women. This countryside may all be in ruin within a matter of days, when the Saxons come. In Camelot you are near to your father’s country. My own mother dwells in Avalon, within a day’s journey—she is a notable healer woman and midwife, and I am sure she would come to you and care for you, or even stay to be with you when the babe is born. If I send to my mother with a message to come to you, will you go?”
Gwenhwyfar bent her head, fighting not to cry. Once again I must do as I am bid, like any woman, no matter what I want! Now even Lancelet had joined in to get her to do what she was told. She remembered the journey here from the Summer Country—even with Igraine at hand she had been terrified, and all this day she had ridden across the dreadful moors from Tintagel—now she was safe within walls and it seemed to her that she would never again be willing to leave their shelter.
Perhaps, when she was stronger, when her son was safe in her arms . . . then, perhaps she could dare that journey, but not now . . . and Lancelet could offer her as a gift the company of that evil sorceress his mother! How could he think she would let such a sorceress near her son? Arthur might contaminate himself with vows and links to Avalon, but her son should never be touched by that pagan evil.
“It is kind of you, Lancelet,” she said stubbornly, “but I shall go nowhere until my son is born.”
“Even if you were to be taken to Avalon itself?” Arthur asked. “You and our son would be safer there than anywhere in this world.”
She shivered and crossed herself. “God and Mary Virgin forbid!” she whispered. “I would as soon go into the fairy country itself!”
“Gwenhwyfar, listen to me—” he began urgently, then sighed in defeat, and she knew she had won. “Have it as you will. If the danger of travel seems greater to you than the danger of remaining here, then God forbid I should force you to travel. . . .”
Gaheris said wrathfully, “Arthur, will you let her do this? I say to you, you should bundle her on to her horse and send her forth whether she will, or not! My king, will you listen like this to a woman’s raving?”
Arthur shook his head wearily. “Peace, cousin,” he said, “it is easy to see you are no married man. Gwenhwyfar, do as you will. Elaine may remain with you, and one serving-woman and a midwife and your priest, but no more. Everyone else must ride at daybreak. And now you must go to your chamber, Gwen, I have no more time for this!”
And Gwenhwyfar, dutifully raising her cheek for his dutiful kiss, had no sense that she had won a victory.
The other women set forth at daybreak. Meleas begged to stay with the Queen, but Griflet would not have it. “Elaine has neither husband nor child,” he said. “Let her stay. Yet if I were King Pellinore I would not let