Mists of Avalon - Marion Zimmer Bradley [436]
This, then, was her task: to make certain that Accolon should succeed his father, not for her own sake or for revenge, but for the sake of the old worship which she and Accolon had brought back to this land. If I had half an hour to tell Accolon all, he would go with Avalloch hunting, and I doubt not that would solve all. And she thought, with cold calculation, Shall I keep my hands clean of this, and leave it to Accolon?
Uriens was old; but he might live another year, or another five years. Now that Avalloch knew all, he would work with Father Eian to undermine any influence Accolon and Morgaine might have, and all that she had done would be undone again.
If Accolon wants this kingdom, perhaps it is he who should make certain of it. If Avalloch dies of poison, it is I who will die for a sorceress. Yet if she left it to Accolon—then would it be all too much like that old ballad, the one which began, Two brothers went a-hunting. . . .
Shall I tell Accolon, and let him act in his rage? Troubled, still not certain what she would do, she went up to find Accolon in his father’s room, and as she came in she heard him say, “Today Avalloch goes to hunt boar—the storeroom is near to empty. And I will ride with him. It is all too long since I have hunted in my own hills—”
“No,” Morgaine said sharply. “Stay with your father today. He will need you, and Avalloch has all his huntsmen to help him.”
She thought, Somehow I must tell him what I mean to do, and then she stopped herself. If he knew what she planned—though she was not yet sure herself what form her necessity would take—he would never accede to it, except perhaps in his first anger at hearing what Avalloch had said to her.
And if he did, she thought—though I thought I knew him better than that, still my own hunger for his body might have deceived me, and he may be less honorable than I think him—if he were such a one as would consent to be party to this, then he would be kin slayer and under that curse, and not such a one as I could trust for what lies before us. Avalloch is kin to me by marriage alone; there is no blood tie to dishonor. Only if I had borne Uriens a son would there be blood guilt on me. Now, she was glad she had given Uriens no son.
Accolon said, “Let Uwaine stay with father—if his cheek wound is being poulticed still, it is he that should stay indoors and keep to the fireside.”
How can I make him understand? His hands must be clean; he must be here when the news comes . . . what can I say to him to make him understand that this is important, perhaps the most important thing I shall ever ask of him? Urgency, and the impossibility of voicing her inner thoughts, made her voice sharp.
“Will you do as I ask you without argument, Accolon? If I am to tend Uwaine’s wound too, I shall have no leisure to tend your father as well, and he has been left to serving-folk all too often of late!” And your father, if the Goddess is with me, shall have more need of you at his side than ever, before this day is ended. . . .
She slurred her words, hoping Uriens would not understand what she was saying. “As your mother I ask it,” she said, but what she was saying to Accolon, with all the force of her thoughts, was, From the Mother I command it. . . . “Obey me,” she said and, turning a little away from Uriens, so that Accolon alone could see, she touched the faded blue crescent on her forehead. Accolon looked at her—puzzled, questioning—but she turned away, shaking her head slightly, hoping that at least he would understand why she could not speak more freely.
He said, frowning, “Certainly, if you wish it so much. It is no hardship to stay with my father.”
Morgaine saw Avalloch ride out at midmorning with four huntsmen, and while Maline was in the lower hall, she slipped into their bedchamber, searching through the untidy room and through the discarded baby clothes and still unwashed