Mitla Pass - Leon Uris [150]
“Where?”
Val shook her head.
“Where!”
She pointed to the bed.
“In our bed?”
“Yes ... we slept together in our bed.”
“You mean fucked, don’t you?”
“Yes!” Val screamed. “I fucked him!”
“Did he go for rubbing his face around where the black stockings end and your soft white thighs begin? Did he bury his face in your muff!”
“Come on, Gideon, stop torturing yourself.”
“We’ve seen that son of a bitch bare-assed. He’s got a shvantz on him like a horse. How’d you like giving head to that great big salami? Did you soap him down in the shower and give him a super-deluxe job?”
“I did it. We did it like people do it. I swear to God, I don’t remember half of it.”
“Bullshit. He had you up on speed.”
“Yes ...”
“And you kept fucking him in our bed?”
“No, just that once.”
“How many times, where?”
“Out at their beach house a few times. And ... three ... four times at the motel.”
“You came, didn’t you? Screams and flailing and sweating and moaning. You had one orgasm after another! You enjoyed every minute of it, didn’t you? Especially when he had you put on a show. You put on a show with your fingers up your pussy and he came all over you!”
“No ... I don’t remember, I tell you. Neither of us knew why we kept coming back. He’s ... he’s a fair lover. But, Gideon, he wasn’t you. Nobody is you.”
“Sure, that’s right, baby. Let’s establish the fact that he was a lousy lover. That makes me feel real good. Oh, he was just terrible, a real bum in the sack.”
“I wasn’t doing this to hurt you. I was messed up, baby, just messed up. At the end of a few months, it was over with. We both became just ... disgusted with ourselves.”
“But he came back to our dinner table. We all went skinny-dipping together, didn’t we? God damn, what a laugh you two must have had behind my back.”
“We thought it best to go on like nothing had happened. And nothing did happen after we quit. Only the God-damned lie. It has been like a cancer in my soul and it wouldn’t stop growing.”
“Take a look in the mirror!”
“I can’t.”
“You’ll see a slut, a whore, a tramp, a pig, scum. The Admiral’s daughter and all her Protestant bullshit. The only thing you’re sorry for is that you got caught.”
“Sometimes I swore you wanted me to be a whore. We’ve played at it a hundred times. It’s no excuse. I got mixed up between fantasy and reality. Look, honey, it’s no excuse. I could’ve always said no to the games you and I played ... but I loved playing them with you. Honey, honey, I just want to live long enough for you to trust me again. I love you, man. ...”
“How about Penny and Roxy? You love them too?”
“Please don’t. I beg you. Please don’t.”
“What are you going to tell them when it comes time to let them know they’ve got to learn to keep their legs crossed? You going to tell them what a sweetheart Momma was to their daddy? You junky whore, going down for a toot of speed, just like the two-bit pigs in the shooting galleries. Give me a sniff and I’ll give you a fuck.”
“Kill me!”
“Why don’t you be quiet. Our daughters will hear you.”
Val became hysterical, and after a time she took her hands down from her face. It was wet with tears, and her eyes screamed silently in pain. Val clenched her trembling fists and pulled herself together once again. “I’ll tell them their mother is a human being and human beings make mistakes. I’ll tell them to try not to make mistakes as a woman, because there is no free lunch in that game. I’ll tell them, if they make mistakes, there’s no escaping having to pay the price. I’ll tell them their own consciences will drive them crazy. I hate myself, Gideon, almost as much as I love you.”
Gideon’s face became wet with perspiration, and his eyes fluttered and his head rolled. “Get out of here. Pack your shit and go visit your mother. I’ll take care of the