Monster - A. Lee Martinez [33]
“I noticed.”
Around three in the morning, Judy had decided that Monster’s job was just as boring as her own. Dragons and sorcery didn’t really change the nature of the world, and working stiffs were just the same whether grocery clerk or monster catcher.
“Even if you could get certified,” he told her, “it wouldn’t matter. There’s not much call for the job anymore. Cryptos aren’t common enough to make a living at this. I don’t even earn enough to pay my rent most months. Not without a little extra help from my girlfriend. It’s just the way the world is going. Cryptos are just like any other animal. Gotta have space to live. The more space we take up, the less for them. Some can adapt, but most are disappearing. Pretty soon, it’ll be one bag a night.
“Not that that’s a big deal either. The cognizant birthrate is falling too, and in two or three hundred years no human alive will be able to understand magic. It’ll probably always be around in some form, but who’s gonna notice? Probably be replaced by numerology, astrology, tarot cards, all those things humans like to think of as magical but really aren’t.”
Judy had gone through a phase as a teen, had had a shelf full of books about signs and planetary alignments and all that jazz. It would’ve been nice to think she could’ve been on to something.
“It seems like you’ve had plenty of business lately,” said Judy. “There’s always surges. Usually two or three a year. This one’s a little earlier than predicted, but that’s not unusual.”
“So what are you going to do?” she asked. “What are your plans when all the cryptos dry up?”
“I don’t know. Haven’t thought about it.”
“Aren’t you worried?” she asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe.” He stared into his coffee, gruffly feigning indifference. “Do you ever wake up and think, What the hell happened? What am I doing? And you realize that every-thing’s all screwed up and it’s probably your own damn fault but it’s too late to fix it and you just have to learn to live with it because there’s no way you’re going back to school or dealing with the rat race or starting from the ground up. Because that sounds good, sounds like it should work, but if you weren’t such a screwup in the first place you wouldn’t be in the mess you are now. So why bother starting over? Because you’re still a screwup and that’s not going to change, no matter how you want it to.”
She could relate, all right. It was all the stuff she tried not to think about in her own life. She glanced around the diner and noticed that same making-it-day-by-day posture in at least half the customers. We couldn’t all be Chipper, so optimistic and bright, jaunty because tomorrow was certainly going to be a better day, and usually today wasn’t all that bad. Judy’s life wasn’t even that bad. Just not very good, which in some ways was even worse. When you were at the bottom, you could work your way up. When you were at the top, you could gaze forward to the future with optimism. But the middle was tough. The middle was where it was too easy to be lazy and cynical at the same time.
Sometimes, she thought the starving people had it easy. Then she realized how idiotic that thought was and only felt worse about herself.
She stared into her own cup. “Eh, I try not to think about it,” said Monster with a forced smile. “I’m half hoping my demon girlfriend kills me before I have to.”
“Sounds like a plan,” agreed Judy. “What can I say? I’m an optimist. So what about you? What are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know.”
She really didn’t. Not a clue as to what her future might hold. She’d probably erase her memory rune, forget the past few days, and just go back to the Food Plus Mart and work there until she died. It wasn’t the best plan, but at least it was simple.
Chipper brought forth their food. Judy was in a bad mood and would’ve preferred her breakfast swimming in grease, with ham like rubber and bacon like overdone toast. But everything was perfect. The eggs were fluffy. The bacon was crisp. The ham was succulent. It didn’t lighten her mood—only made her more aware of her bad attitude.