Monster - A. Lee Martinez [37]
“If we get anywhere near it, we’ll be fried,” said Monster. “We could bash it with a chair. Maybe stun it enough to get past.”
“Everything in this place is metal. Not sure striking a living lightning generator with a metal rod is a smart thing to do.”
A single paw trod into view. Monster and Judy jumped back against the wall as the crackling walrus dog raised its head, with a maw of jagged ice shards, and howled.
The howl ended in a whimper as its jaw fell off. Fissures split the az-i-wu-gum-ki-mukh-ti’s huge tail, and it shattered. The creature tried to raise a paw. The limb broke apart. The walrus dog attempted to keep its balance, but its frozen limbs weren’t able to keep it from falling, so it rolled to one side. The electricity in its heart fizzled, and the az-i-wu-gum-ki-mukh-ti exploded in a glittering burst. Frost covered Monster, Judy, and the diner in a thin coat.
“Is it dead?” asked Judy. “What do you mean, is it dead? Of course it’s dead.” Monster wiped the ice from his face. “Damn, I guess I lost the collection fee on it. Not even good for parts.”
Monster and Judy found the back door out of the diner through the kitchen. They went around to the front, where most of the customers and employees were standing around in mild confusion. Chipper was still flushed and wide eyed, on the verge of madness, and Judy forced herself not to smile at the perk-deprived moppet.
Judy guessed the combination of danger, chaos, and magic caused the stupefying effect. Monster ignored the crowd and got into her car without saying a word. But Judy thought she should say something to ease the crowd’s bewilderment. Without her magic rune, she’d have been just as confused.
She cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled to the crowd, though not too loudly. The bump on her head was still throbbing. “It’s okay, folks. It’s all taken care of. The, uh, the big dog is dead. It won’t hurt you. You can all go in and finish your breakfast now.”
Much to her surprise, they seemed soothed. Probably because the crowd was eager to pretend that the walrus dog attack had never happened and to get on with their otherwise dreary lives. A few of the braver or incognizant employees and customers headed toward the diner.
Judy started the car. “Should we maybe stick around? In case the cops have any questions?”
“Are you nuts? Let’s just get out of here before we get into any more trouble.”
She glanced at the diner’s frosted windows. “Guess you’re right.”
“You’re bad luck, you know that?” said Monster on the drive back.
“It wasn’t my fault. It’s that hex that elf put on me.” She glanced at her hand, still slightly itchy, but at least the mark had vanished.
“It’s not like you weren’t a jinx before you got that. I’ve only known you two days, and I’ve been nearly eaten by a yeti, trolls, a Japanese ogre, and some Greenland walrus monster. Not to mention losing my van.”
“It’s not like it’s been all rainbows and puppy kisses for me.” She touched her bruised and cut forehead.
“If I were you, I’d wash that glyph off my face and move on. Before I ended up dead. Or worse.”
One more head injury and she’d have to use her fingers and toes to count to twenty. Her life was hard enough without the possibility of brain damage. Monster was probably right. She resented him for the advice, but she couldn’t argue.
She dropped him off at his house. “Sorry things didn’t work out like you hoped,” he said. “I don’t even know what I expected,” she replied, more to herself than him.
Monster sucked his teeth noisily to cover the awkward silence.
“Forget it. Not your fault. At least you let me come along. You didn’t have to do that. I wouldn’t have changed my statement, y’know. To the Reds. You aren’t as bad at this job as you think.”
“How would you know?”
She laughed. “I guess I wouldn’t. Not really. But all I know is that every time I’ve been around you, I’ve been nearly killed. But I haven’t actually been killed. And that’s probably thanks to you. You might be a screwup, Monster, but considering