Monster - A. Lee Martinez [90]
Out of ideas, Chester sat and waited. Five hours later, Monster remained locked in his trance. The only movement at all was a subtle twitch of his eyes.
Judy stirred, sitting up. “Christ, what the hell did I do last night?”
“Judy, you’re awake. That’s a relief.”
She put her hands to her head and retched. The painful dry heave reminded Chester how grateful he was not to be a biological entity.
She tried to stand but failed. Chester helped her with her second attempt. She could only manage to get halfway up and had to sit on the bed.
“Why am I naked?”
“There’s a logical explanation, Miss Hines.”
“Forget it. Not the first time I went on a bender and woke up naked in a weird place. Although it is the first time I’ve ever met a paper man.”
“We’ve met before,” said Chester. “Several times. Nothing untoward happened, I promise. We were just checking your body for marks.” He scooped her shirt off the floor and handed it to her.
“Makes sense,” she said as she slipped on the T-shirt and noticed Monster. “What’s with him?”
“Do you remember him?”
“Sort of. He’s kind of an asshole, right?”
“He has his moments, but he did rescue you. Right now he’s defying every known law of interdimensional physics by somehow not having his atoms spread across the universe.”
“What did he rescue me from?”
“I don’t know. I was hoping you might. Maybe once we fix your memory problem.”
She pulled on her pants and stood. The sudden light-headed sensation made her groan. “I could use some aspirin and a cigarette.”
Chester folded into a bird, flew into the bathroom, and returned with a bottle pilfered from the medicine cabinet. While Judy struggled with the childproof cap, he opened Monster’s rune dictionary.
“I don’t have much practice at this, but hopefully this’ll restore your memory, giving us an insight into what is happening. According to this, I’ll have to draw on your forehead. I hope that’s okay.”
“No, thanks,” she said. “Just point me to the exit and I’ll be on my way. Whatever weird kink you guys are into—and I’m not judging, mind you—I’m just not interested. Not my scene.” She found a crushed pack of cigarettes and a lighter in her pocket and lit up. “It’s been swell, but I have to…”
She sifted through her mental playback of the past few days but couldn’t find any clear memory. Part of this was the haze. The other was the aftereffects of too many cognition-enhancing magics that rendered her mind as intractable as quicksand. She might’ve panicked, except she didn’t have the energy for that.
“Don’t bother showing me the door. I’ll find my way out.” She slipped around Monster’s immobile body. “You might want to drape a tarp over him to keep him from getting dusty. Just a suggestion.”
“I don’t think going outside is such a great idea,” Chester said. “There are people looking for you. It could be dangerous.”
She gaped at the ruined living room. She stumbled over Liz’s blackened femur and kicked the demon’s skull into the pit.
“Uh, yeah, I’m sure I’ll be much safer here.”
The front door burst off its hinges as Ferdinand and Ed smashed their way into the room.
“Run, Miss Hines! Run!”
Chester folded himself into a falcon shape and flew at Ferdinand. He inflicted a few shallow paper cuts to her cheeks, drawing blood. She seized him, crumpled him into a ball, and threw him to the floor. Before he could unfold, Ed stepped on him, pinning him to the carpet.
A legion of cats filtered into the house and surrounded Judy. Pendragon hissed, spitting out fire and roasting the carpet at her feet. Judy retched at the burning smell.
Ed surveyed the demolished room. “What happened here?”
“Who cares?” said Ferdinand.
The giant woman went over to Monster. She circled him, waving her hands in front of his face and prodding him. He didn’t react. She tried pushing him over. He didn’t budge. She tried taking the stone from him. He wouldn’t release it. She punched him in the head and wound up with bruised knuckles. He was unharmed.
Lotus entered. “You’re wasting your time. Leave him