Monstrous Regiment - Terry Pratchett [101]
“I don’t want to end up in the School, though,” said Betty aka Shufti. “They took away a girl from our village and she was kicking and screaming—”
“Then fight them!” said Polly. “You’ve got a sword now, haven’t you? Fight back!” She saw the look of horror on Betty’s face, and remembered that this wasn’t Tonker she was talking to. “Look, if we get out of this alive we’ll talk to the colonel. He might be able to help.” After all, perhaps your boy really was called Johnny, she thought, perhaps he really was called away suddenly. Hope is a wonderful thing. She went on: “If we get out of this, there’s going to be no School and no beatings. Not for you or any of us. Not if we’ve got brains. Not if we’re smart.”
Betty was almost in tears, but she managed another smile. “And Wazzer’s talking to the Duchess, too. She’ll fix things!”
Polly stared out at the bright, unchanging landscape, empty except for a buzzard making wide circles in the forbidden blue.
“I’m not sure about that,” she said. “But someone up there likes us.”
Twilight was brief at this time of year. There had been no sign from Blouse.
“I watched until I couldn’t see,” said Jade as they sat and watched Shufti make stew. “Some of der women dat came out was ones I saw goin’ in dis mornin’, too.”
“Are you sure?” said Jackrum.
“We might be fick, Sarge,” said Jade, looking hurt, “but trolls have great…er…vis-you-all ack-you-it-tee. More women was going in dis evenin’, too.”
“Night shift,” said Tonker.
“Oh well, he tried,” said Jackrum. “With any luck he’s in a nice warm cell and they’ve found him a pair of long pants. Get your kit together, lads. We’ll creep around and into our lines and you’ll be snug in bed by midnight.”
Polly remembered what she’d said, hours ago, about fighting. You had to start somewhere.
“I want to try the Keep again,” she said.
“You do, Perks, do you?” said Jackrum, with mock interest.
“My brother’s in there.”
“Nice safe place for him, then.”
“He might be injured. I vote for the Keep.”
“Vote?” said Jackrum. “My word, that’s a new one. Voting in the army? Who wants to get killed, lads, let’s have a show of hands? Knock it off, Perks.”
“I’m going to try it, Sarge!”
“You are not!”
“Try and stop me!” The words came out before she could stop them. And that’s it, she thought, the shout heard round the world. No going back after this. I’ve run off the edge of the cliff and it’s all downhill from here.
Jackrum’s expression stayed blank for a second or two, and then he said, “Anyone else voting for the Keep?”
Polly looked at Shufti, who blushed.
But:
“We are,” said Tonker. Beside her, Lofty struck a match, and held it so that it flared. That was pretty much a speech from Lofty.
“Why, pray?” said Jackrum.
“We don’t want to sit around in a swamp,” said Tonker. “And we don’t like being ordered about.”
“Should have thought of that before you joined an army, lad!”
“We aren’t lads, Sarge.”
“You are if I says you are!”
Well, it’s not as though I wasn’t expecting it, Polly thought. I’ve played this out enough times in my head. Here goes…
“All right, Sarge,” she said. “It’s time to have it out, here and now.”
“Ooo, er,” said Jackrum theatrically, fishing his screwed-up paper of tobacco out of his pocket.
“What?”
Jackrum sat down on the remains of a wall. “Just injecting a little sauciness into the conversation,” he said. “Carry on, Perks. Have your say. I thought it’d come to this.”
“You know I’m a woman, Sarge,” said Polly.
“Yup. I wouldn’t trust you to shave cheese.”
The squad stared. Jackrum opened his big knife and examined the chewing tobacco as though it was the most interesting thing present.
“So…er…what are you going to do about it?” said Polly, feeling derailed.
“Dunno. Can’t do anything, can I? You were born like it.”
“You didn’t tell Blouse!” said Polly.
“Nope.”
Polly wanted to knock the wretched tobacco out of the sergeant’s hand. Now that she had got over the surprise, there was something offensive