Monstrous Regiment - Terry Pratchett [147]
“No,” said Shufti. “I…it’s…well, no. Thank you, but no.”
“Are you sure?” said Polly.
“Positive,” said Shufti, looking defiant. Since she was not naturally a defying kind of person, it was not quite the look that she thought it was and ought to have been, having overtones of hemorrhoid sufferer, but the effort was there.
Clogston stepped back. “Well, if you’re certain, Private? Fair enough, then. Take that man away, Sergeant.”
“Just a moment,” said Shufti. She walked over to the bewildered Johnny, stood in front of him, held out her hand and said: “Before they take you away again I want my sixpence back, you son of a bitch!”
Polly held out her hand to Clogston, who shook it and smiled. There had been another little victory, of sorts. If the landslide is big enough, even square pebbles will roll.
Polly headed back to the rather larger cell that had been made available as the women’s barracks, or at least the barracks for the official women. Men, grown men, had fallen over themselves to put cushions in there, and bring in wood for the fire. It was all very strange. Polly felt they were being treated as something dangerous and fragile, like, say, a huge and wonderful jar full of poison.
She turned the corner into the big courtyard and there was de Worde, with Mr. Chriek. There was no escaping them. They were definitely people looking for someone. The man was dragging out his notebook even as he came toward her, and gave her a look in which reproach was mingled with hope.
“Er…so you’re women, then?” he said.
“Er, yes,” said Polly. That seemed to cover it.
“But you didn’t tell me when we met before,” said de Worde, as if this was some dereliction of manners.
“Sorry. But we didn’t tell you we were men, either.”
De Worde, a man who wrote things down, found a nice new page in his book.
“This is an amazing story,” he said. “You really fought your way here and got in disguised as washerwomen?”
“Well, we were women, and we did do some washing,” said Polly. “I suppose it was quite a cunning disguise, really. We got in by not being disguised, you could say.”
“General Froc and Captain Blouse say they’re very proud of you,” de Worde went on, scribbling.
“Oh, he has got promoted, then?” said Polly.
“Yes, and Froc said you did wonderfully well, for women.”
“Yes, I suppose we did,” said Polly. “Yes. Very well, for women.”
“The general went on to say…” de Worde consulted his notebook, “that you are a credit to the women of your country. I wonder if you’d care to comment?”
He looked innocent, so possibly he didn’t understand the raging argument that had just broken out in Polly’s head. A credit to the women of your country. We’re proud of you. Somehow those words locked you away, put you in your place, patted you on the head and dismissed you with a sweetie. On the other hand, you had to start somewhere…
“That’s very nice of them,” said Polly. “But we just want to get the job done and go home. That’s what soldiers want.” She thought for a moment, and then added: “And hot sweet tea.”
To her amazement, he wrote this down, too.
“Just one last question, miss: do you think the world would be a different place if more women were soldiers?” de Worde asked. He was smiling again, she noted, so this was probably a jokey kind of question.
“Oh, I think you’d have to ask General Froc that,” said Polly. And I’d like to watch her expression if you do…
“Yes, but what do you think, miss?”
“That’s ‘Corporal,’ please.”
“Sorry, Corporal…and?”
The pencil was hovering. Around it, the world turned. It wrote things down, and then they got everywhere. The pen might not be mightier than the sword, but maybe the printing press was heavier that the siege weapon. Just a few words can change everything…
“Well,” said Polly, “I—”
There was a sudden bustling around the gates at the other end of the courtyard, and some cavalry officers arrived. They must have been expected, because Zlobenian officers were converging in a great hurry.
“Ah, I see the prince is back,” said de Worde.