Morgain's Revenge - Laura Anne Gilman [61]
Silence fell on the room. Even Sir Tawny seemed taken aback by her words.
“What? Ailis, are you…Morgain! She’s enspelled you!”
“She has not! Newt, you don’t understand!”
Newt glared at her, hands fisted at his hips. “You’re right. I don’t.”
“I didn’t ask to be taken, and I didn’t ask to be rescued, and I didn’t ask to be treated like a piece of property by anyone who thinks that they know what’s best for me!” She paused to gasp for breath, pushing hair off her face as though trying to cool down.
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Gerard started, then immediately realized that was the wrong thing to say, even before she turned on him.
“How do you know what I know? You don’t know anything. You haven’t…you and your life and your plans and your goals—well, maybe I have some, too, now!”
Gerard opened his mouth to retort. Instead, he waited for a rise of warmth to come and give him wisdom, or cunning. But the spell-touch was silent. Neither Merlin nor Arthur had much luck with women either, apparently.
“And you’ll reach them here, these goals?” Newt asked. His voice was calmer than theirs, slipping into the tone he used to calm aggressive dogs. People responded to it almost as well, and Ailis was no exception.
“I don’t know. But what chance do I have in Camelot? They’ll just put me back in the solar and think that they are doing me a favor.”
“But aren’t they—” Gerard began, then paused when all three—Ailis, Newt, and Sir Tawny—turned to stare at him.
“What do you want, then?” Newt asked. “Power?”
She grimaced, then shook her head. “Not the way you mean it, Newt. I know what you’re saying and—no. I don’t want that sort of power. Not like Morgain. Not even like Merlin. Just…to be able to control my own life. To decide what I do and where I go.”
“Ailis, nobody has that kind of power. Not even Arthur.”
“Morgain does.”
Gerard couldn’t stand it anymore. “Is that why she was in Camelot, spying on Arthur? Ailis, she’s evil!”
“So everyone keeps telling me. But they can’t tell me why. So I guess ‘evil’ all depends on your definition of the word, doesn’t it? I’m not saying I don’t want to go home ever,” she went on, walking to the sofa. She sat down and continued, “Just…not yet. And when I do, it will be as I decide.” She smiled at them as she said that, a sweet smile that did nothing to undercut the bitterness of her words.
“All right, then,” Gerard said, surprising them all. “You’ll stay. And we’ll stay with you. Until you decide that you’re ready to leave.” What he was saying sounded insane. He knew that. But in the face of Ailis’s unexpected stubbornness, what was Gerard supposed to do? Throw her over his shoulder and carry her, kicking and screaming, off the island? He didn’t need Merlin’s cunning or Arthur’s wisdom to know that wouldn’t work. And it gave them a reason to stay, to look around. Odds were, Ailis wasn’t going to share anything she might have learned of Morgain’s plans, either, the way her thoughts were all tangled up.
I won’t fail you, the way I failed Ailis, he thought, although he wasn’t sure if the words were directed to Arthur, Merlin, or Sir Caedor.
A gentle voice interjected. “It is generally considered polite to ask your hostess if you are even welcome to stay, before deciding upon such a thing.”
All three jumped as Morgain strolled into the room, elegantly dressed in a gown of dark blue. Her expression was cool, distant, and somewhat amused. Newt looked horrified, Gerard looked cautiously nervous, and Ailis looked guilty.
“Morgain, I…I invited them. I—”
“Witch-child.” Morgain lost some of her amusement. “Never lie to me.”
Ailis bowed her head. Gerard suddenly noted that her auburn hair was unbraided. He hadn’t seen her hair out of its normal thick braids falling over her face since they were children. And was that a feather knotted into the red strands?
“Yes, Morgain. I am sorry. But you won’t make them leave, will you?”
The sorceress sighed. “I did let them enter my home. Yes, of course I knew you boys were here. What good is it being me, if I cannot tell who is inside my very