Mosaic - Jeri Taylor [72]
What he didn't do was to include her in any of his musings. He asked no questions, requested no opinion, shared no thought of his own. He was a man working exclusively with himself.
She considered what to do. On the one hand, he was her superior officer; it was his right to proceed with their assignment in any manner he chose. But she resented being treated as a silent piece of the background; she was an official member of this team and she should not be frozen out. It was always dangerous to confront a predator, she knew; but unless you did, you would never gain his respect.
"Lieutenant," she began mildly, "if I knew what kind of sensor modifications you were considering, I might be able to help out." Tighe looked over at her as though he had forgotten she was in the room. He blinked, coming out of some deep level of concentration. "What?" he said.
"I'd like to be able to contribute. But I can't unless you give me an idea of how you're proceeding."
He ran his hand through his hair in a manner that now demonstrated exasperation, rather than absentmindedness. "I appreciate your offer, Ensign, but it would frankly take more time to explain what I'm doing than it will just to do it myself. Once I've figured out a plan, I'll go over it with you."
And he returned to his pacing, his gazing, and his computing. Kathryn felt her cheeks sting. The rebuff was so blunt, so total, that she felt physically misused. She forced her mind to clear and quiet. Don't act without thinking, she reminded herself, objectifying the anger she felt at the rude behavior of the man who was supposed to be her partner. Justin Tighe was faced away from her, studiously tapping on the padd. She rose and circled so she faced him.
"Excuse me, sir." He looked up with mild irritation. "Permission to speak freely?"
He let out a breath of vexation and fastened his blue eyes on her. "Granted," he said dryly.
"We're going to be working together for the next year. Working closely together. I think it's important we establish some ground rules at the beginning." She paused and looked at him, trying to gauge the impact of her words. He revealed nothing, his features neutral, eyes icy. "I realize I'm the most junior member of this team. But I am a member of the team. I think I can make a contribution-even if it's just as a backboard, someone to bounce ideas off. I don't care how I participate-but I insist that I do."
He didn't reply, just kept looking at her with those otherworldly eyes. "I'm not willing to be shut out," she continued, "to be treated as though I'm less important to this mission than that padd you're using. I think you'll find that if you'll just let me in, I can help. At least give me a chance to prove that."
There was a very long silence then, with Tighe's eyes boring into hers, she holding his look steadily, willing herself not to blink, feeling her eyes grow dry in the effort.
And then he slumped, tossed the padd down on the table, and sprawled into a chair.
"Let me tell you about me, Ensign," he said, but there was a long pause before he did so, as though he were unaccustomed to self-revelation and unsure how to proceed. "I was born on Klatus Prime. Ever heard of it? I didn't think so. It's a small mining colony in Sector 22309. My family had been miners there for generations. It wasn't quite as easy a life as you have on Earth. When I was ten I decided I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life like my father and my grandfather." He glanced up at her as though to see her reaction to what he was saying. Kathryn tried to reveal nothing, just listened patiently.
"Twenty years later, I've managed to become a respected member of Starfleet. I had to earn every step of that journey. Nobody gave me anything, nobody made it easy for me." She heard no self-pity in his voice, no plea of victimization. He said what he did as neutrally as though he were reciting the table of elements.
He took a breath and leaned forward on the table, looking up at her. "I'm