Mostly Harmless [48]
Trillian picked up a sandwich and looked at it. She sniffed it carefully.
"Try it," said Arthur, "it's good.'
Trillian took a nibble, then a bite and munched on it thoughtfully.
"It is good," she said, looking at it.
"My life's work,' said Arthur, trying to sound proud and hoping he didn't sound like a complete idiot. He was used to being revered a bit, and was having to go through some unexpected mental gear changes.
"What's the meat in it?' asked Trillian.
"Ah yes, that's, um, that's Perfectly Normal Beast.'
"It's what?'
"Perfectly Normal Beast. It's a bit like a cow, or rather a bull. Kind of like a buffalo in fact. Large, charging sort of animal.'
"So what's odd about it?'
"Nothing, it's Perfectly Normal.'
"I see."
"It's just a bit odd where it comes from.'
Tricia frowned, and stopped chewing.
"Where does it come from?" she asked with her mouth full. She wasn't going to swallow until she knew.
"Well it's not just a matter of where it comes from, it's also where it goes to. It's all right, it's perfectly safe to swallow. I've eaten tons of it. It's great. Very succulent. Very tender. Slightly sweet flavour with a long dark finish.'
Trillian still hadn't swallowed.
"Where," she said, "does it come from, and where does it go to?"
"They come from a point just slightly to the east of the Hondo Mountains. They're the big ones behind us here, you must have seen them as you came in, and then they sweep in their thousands across the great Anhondo plains and, er, well that's it really. That's where they come from. That's where they go.'
Trillian frowned. There was something she wasn't quite getting about this.
"I probably haven't made it quite clear,' said Arthur. "When I say they come from a point to the east of the Hondo Mountains, I mean that that's where they suddenly appear. Then they sweep across the Anhondo plains and, well, vanish really. We have about six days to catch as many of them as we can before they disappear. In the spring they do it again only the other way round, you see.'
Reluctantly, Trillian swallowed. It was either that or spit it out, and it did in fact taste pretty good.
"I see," she said, once she had reassured herself that she didn't seem to be suffering any ill effects. "And why are they called Perfectly Normal Beasts?"
"Well, I think because otherwise people might think it was a bit odd. I think Old Thrashbarg called them that. He says that they come from where they come from and they go to where they go to and that it's Bob's will and that's all there is to it.'
"Who..."
"Just don't even ask.'
"Well, you look well on it."
"I feel well. You look well."
"I'm well. I'm very well.'
"Well, that's good.'
"Yes."
"Good."
"Good."
"Nice of you to drop in."
"Thanks."
"Well," said Arthur, casting around himself. Astounding how hard it was to think of anything to say to someone after all this time.
"I expect you're wondering how I found you,' said Trillian.
"Yes!" said Arthur. "I was wondering exactly that. How did you find me?"
"Well, as you may or may not know, I now work for one of the big Sub-Etha broadcasting networks that -"
"I did know that," said Arthur, suddenly remembering. "Yes, you've done very well. That's terrific. Very exciting. Well done. Must be a lot of fun.'
"Exhausting."
"All that rushing around. I expect it must be, yes."
"We have access to virtually every kind of information. I found your name on the passenger list of the ship that crashed."
Arthur was astonished.
"You mean they knew about the crash?"
"Well, of course they knew. You don't have a whole spaceliner disappear without someone knowing about it.'
"But you mean, they knew where it had happened? They knew I'd survived?'
"Yes."
"But nobody's ever been to look or search or rescue. There's been absolutely nothing.'
"Well there wouldn't be. It's a whole complicated insurance thing. They just bury the whole thing. Pretend it never happened.