Mostly Harmless [9]
A member of the hotel staff was now going round the bar asking people if they were Mr Miller. Nobody was.
"You really think this... person was from another planet?" asked Gail.
"Oh, certainly. There was the spacecraft. Oh, and also he had two heads."
"Two? Didn't anybody else notice?'
"It was a fancy dress party."
"I see..."
"And he had a bird cage over it, of course. With a cloth over the cage. Pretended he had a parrot. He tapped on the cage and it did a lot of stupid ""Pretty Polly'' stuff and squawking and so on. Then he pulled the cloth back for a moment and roared with laughter. There was another head in there, laughing along with him. It was a worrying moment I can tell you.'
"I think you probably did the right thing, dear, don't you?' said Gail.
"No," said Tricia. "No I don't. And I couldn't carry on doing what I was doing either. I was an astrophysicist, you see. You can't be an astrophysicist properly if you've actually met someone from another planet who's got a second head that pretends to be a parrot. You just can't do it. I couldn't at least.'
"I can see it would be hard. And that's probably why you tend to be a little hard on other people who talk what sounds like complete nonsense.'
"Yes," said Tricia. "I expect you're right. I'm sorry.'
"That's OK.'
"You're the first person I've ever told this, by the way.'
"I wondered. You married?"
"Er, no. So hard to tell these days isn't it? But you're right to ask because that was probably the reason. I came very close a few times, mostly because I wanted to have a kid. But every guy ended up asking why I was constantly looking over his shoulder. What do you tell someone? At one point I even thought I might just go to a sperm bank and take pot luck. Have somebody's child at random.'
"You can't seriously do that, can you?'
Tricia laughed. "Probably not. I never quite went and found out for real. Never quite did it. Story of my life. Never quite did the real thing. That's why I'm in television I guess. Nothing is real.'
"Excuse me lady, your name Tricia McMillan?"
Tricia looked round in surprise. There was a man standing there in a chauffeur's hat.
"Yes," she said, instantly pulling herself back together again.
"Lady, I been looking for you for about an hour. Hotel said they didn't have anybody of that name, but I checked back with Mr Martin's office and they said that this was definitely where you staying. So I ask again, they still say they never heard of you, so I get them to page you anyway and they can't find you. In the end I get the office to FAX a picture of you through to the car and have a look myself.'
He looked at his watch.
"May be a bit late now, but do you want to go anyway?"
Tricia was stunned.
"Mr Martin? You mean Andy Martin at NBS?"
"That's correct, lady. Screen test for US/AM.'
Tricia shot up out of her seat. She couldn't even bear to think of all the messages she'd heard for Mr MacManus and Mr Miller.
"Only we have to hurry," said the chauffeur. "As I heard it Mr Martin thinks it might be worth trying a British accent. His boss at the network is dead against the idea. That's Mr Zwingler, and I happen to know he's flying out to the coast this evening because I'm the one has to pick him up and take him to the airport.'
"OK," said Tricia, "I'm ready. Let's go.'
"OK, lady. It's the big limo out the front.'
Tricia turned back to Gail. "I'm sorry,' she said.
"Go! Go!" said Gail. "And good luck. I've enjoyed meeting you.'
Tricia made to reach for her bag for some cash.
"Damn," she said. She'd left it upstairs.
"Drinks are on me," insisted Gail. "Really. It's been very interesting.'
Tricia sighed.
"Look, I'm really sorry about this morning and...'
"Don't say another word. I'm fine. It's only astrology. It's harmless. It's not the end of the world.'
"Thanks." On an impulse