Motor Mouth - Janet Evanovich [89]
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“I’m dandy. My scrotum is so tight my balls are choking.”
“It’s not as bad as it sounds,” I said to Skippy. “I’ll be able to get Hooker back as soon as the dog poops.”
“I’m not even going to ask,” Skippy said. “Do you have a phone number I can call when I get information on Miranda?”
I gave him my number and disconnected.
“Maybe we should go back to the hotel and see if Carl needs a potty break or wants to get lunch,” Felicia said.
We went back to the lot, piled into the car, and Rosa headed for Collins. After three blocks, Beans made the balloon noise again, Rosa pulled the car to the curb, and we all got out and waited for the air to clear.
We were standing not far from the take-out part of Joe’s Stone Crabs. A black limo glided to a stop in front of us and Suzanne got out.
“Omigosh,” she said when she saw me. “Barney. How’ve you been? Where’s Hooker?”
“He’s been kidnapped.”
“Jeez,” Suzanne said, “that’s too bad. There’s so much of that going around these days. Excuse me a minute. I have to get my stone crabs.”
“Who’s that?” Rosa wanted to know. “She looks like a big bitch. I like her already.”
Suzanne was carrying a large bag when she came out. “So what are you up to?” she asked me, handing the bag over to the chauffeur.
“I’m trying to find Hooker. These are my friends Rosa and Felicia.”
“Have you gone to the police?” Suzanne asked.
“No. Hooker and I are sort of wanted for multiple counts of murder. Oscar, Spanky’s spotter, Hooker’s security guy…and they’ve probably added Ray by now.”
“That’s ridiculous. Ray isn’t dead,” Suzanne said.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, Ray’s with me. You want to see him?”
FIFTEEN
Felicia, Rosa, and I got back into the Camry, rolled the windows down, and followed the black limo to Suzanne’s condo. We valet-parked the car and rode the elevator to the twelfth floor. All the time, I was dying to jump up and down and yell and be embarrassingly excited because I’d found Ray. Since I hadn’t a clue as to what was going on, and I didn’t want to screw anything up, I just kept my lips pressed tight together and my hands balled into fists at my side and tried to look calm.
“It’s just a temporary rental until I get everything straightened out,” Suzanne said, plugging her key into the lock. “Still, it’s not bad, and it’s got a great view.”
The condo stretched across the back of the building with floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out on the ocean. The décor was modern, mostly white with touches of pastel. The kitchen was high tech and looked totally unused.
“Where’s Itsy Poo?” I asked Suzanne.
“She goes to play group on Tuesdays. And then she gets a whirlpool bath and a pedicure.”
Beans was pressed into my leg as if he understood pedicure and didn’t think a lot of it.
Suzanne set the stone crabs on the kitchen counter. “Follow me, ladies, and I’ll show you what pissed-off mothers do for fun.”
We all marched into the bedroom, which was about half the size of a football field. Her bed was one of those four-poster things, draped in white gauze. The carpet was white. The woods were pale. The upholstered pieces were white. The curtains were drawn, and I thought this was probably to keep the sun out so she didn’t go snow blind.
“This unit has his and hers bathrooms,” Suzanne said. “My bathroom is through the door to the right. And his bathroom is in here.”
Suzanne took a key off the dresser, unlocked the door to his bathroom, and stepped back. Ray was prisoner in the little room, still dressed in the clothes he’d worn to the beach meeting. He was tethered with an elaborate system of clunky chains that wrapped around the toilet and the pipes under the sink. His hands were free to do whatever he needed to do, but he didn’t have enough chain to do what he really wanted to do…which was to choke Suzanne. He had a pillow and a quilt, a stack of magazines, and a tray with leftovers from takeout.
“Now you’re all accomplices to kidnapping,” Ray said. “If you don’t get me out of here, you