Mud Sweat & Tears - Bear Grylls [114]
He was one of the most unique, self-motivated, and brave men I would ever meet.
He had come to the UK from South Africa with only a small brown suitcase and a determination to succeed. He went on to build the most wonderful life and family.
Above all, he and Vinnie, his wife, gave me Shara.
Brian suffered the agony of this cruellest of diseases, which systematically began to reduce him.
First it forced him into a wheelchair, then it robbed him of his power of speech, and eventually the ability to clothe, feed or look after himself. But he never, ever lost his sparkle, and he fought so hard not to let himself be totally bed bound – despite his severe disability.
One can only admire such courage.
I just wish I could have known him when he was fit and healthy. We would have had a blast together, I know.
His death, though, totally broke Shara’s heart. And all I could do was hold her as she grieved, night after night.
Then, out of the blue, and totally unexpectedly, my own father died – only ten weeks after Brian. Like some sick joke.
He was due to have a pacemaker fitted, and had asked if I could be with him during the operation. I used my old SAS medic card to blag my way in to watch the surgeons at work.
Something, though, didn’t feel quite right as Dad squeezed my hand and fell asleep.
Several days after the op, he died – just like that. He had been sat up in bed at home. Alive one minute. Dead the next.
My dad.
Nobody ever knew what had happened. It was kind of academic at that point. He was gone.
The world felt like it had been pulled out from beneath Shara and me.
But we found solace and strength in each other.
I am sure both Brian and my father would have wanted it that way.
Since then, though, we have been blessed to have had three gorgeous children of our own. Together.
Funny that, isn’t it?
New life from old.
CHAPTER 106
Unsurprisingly – maybe – all three of our children are boys.
Jesse is now seven, Marmaduke is four, and little Huckleberry is just two. They are truly a taste of heaven, and nothing, and I mean nothing, beats being all snuggled up in our bed, or having a picnic together in the grass on our little Welsh island that we now own.
I really hunger for nothing else.
All three boys are showing a worrying tendency towards adventure: endlessly climbing trees, making camps, and trying to catch worms and bugs. Along with possessing a magnetic pull towards mud, they make me the proudest father on the planet.
Daily, they remind me that everything of true value in life can’t be bought.
And how both our dads would have adored them!
So much happened, though, in our early, pre-children days, that served to turn our life around irretrievably.
Much of it came from small, serendipitous, unlikely turns of events – like driving for many hours to do a small Everest talk for a charity, and finding out afterwards that the head of Channel 4’s young son was there.
He then told his dad that I should do a TV show for the network.
Kids, eh?
Or getting spotted by the Discovery Channel, after having been chosen out of many climbers to be the subject of a big worldwide ‘Sure for Men’ deodorant TV campaign. (Ironically, this one came just days after Dad died – which always felt like his little spark of a parting gift to me. And, wow, there were so many little gifts from him throughout his life.)
But would I ever have done the bigger TV shows without minibreaks like those?
I doubt it.
But from small acorns grow big oaks.
Along the way, though, I was always careful not to get greedy or to go for the ‘quick buck’ – despite the temptations in the early days.
Financially, it was hard saying no to big appearance fees from TV shows like I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here or Survivor – but I always had the long goal in mind, and tried to keep the main thing the main thing.
And not get distracted by fluff.
Instead, know your strengths.
I also tended instinctively to shy away from both TV and the whole concept of fame – partly, I am sure, because I didn’t have the self-belief to feel I deserved