Mugglenet.com's Harry Potter Should Have Died - Emerson Spartz [13]
If the emphasis is not on career, education, fame, or glory, perhaps that’s the point the author is trying to make. Love and family are more important than any career goal. After all, Harry’s vision of the afterlife was the warmth and calm of King’s Cross, and that is where he is in the Epilogue. He has his heaven on earth. Whatever his work as an adult has been, it could never be as rewarding as those moments with his children, so it’s not necessary to explain his job description, or Hermione’s, or Ron’s. Neville is mentioned because he is a survivor, too, and though he doesn’t have children yet, he is still involved in the next generation as a teacher. It’s all about the kids.
In an Epilogue, which has the theme of hope and well-being in the future, stories about government reform would be heavy-handed and out of place. Nothing can change overnight, and some of the traditions of the wizarding world go back centuries. S.P.E.W. was a good idea, but Hermione never managed to convert any house-elves with her idealism. Prejudice in society against werewolves and goblins, as well as students in Slytherin house, could not possibly change overnight. The death of Voldemort did not create a perfect society, nor did the death of Dumbledore mean that Hogwarts would completely change the system. The children going off to Hogwarts symbolize the system being changed from within and the good things that can happen in the future.
The final chapter had to balance the darkness in the rest of the book and the series as a whole. After Voldemort’s reign of torture and terror, who wouldn’t want nineteen years of peace and quiet? Harry’s grown up, he’s having a good life, and things have come full circle for his family. That’s not a letdown, it’s a victory.
Verdict
The Epilogue is sadly not what many readers envisioned in their Mirror of Erised or desire. In a series with hundreds of characters, we learn the fates of only a few. At the end of a long dark tunnel, there is too much sweetness and light, without any shadows except that the wizarding world is stuck with the prejudices of the past. Of course, other readers love the glowing emphasis on family life and children, but what else have Harry and his friends accomplished in nineteen years? New details that trickle out from J.K.R.’s interviews are fun to know, but it would have been so much better for the readers if the Epilogue gave us the scoop at least about the main characters. Verdict: The Epilogue is an unfortunate letdown.
Would you rather shave Hagrid’s back or give Voldemort a foot massage?
Give Voldemort a Foot Massage
Voldemort didn’t have any feet for quite a few years when he was an unembodied soul, so once he had a body again, a foot massage might be just the ticket to put him in a relaxing, snakelike trance. And while he’s in a good mood, he’s not out torturing humanity for a while, so it’s like doing a public service. Yes, it’s true that if you tickle him or break a blister, he is going to Crucio you. But afterward, you won’t be covered with mounds of coarse black hair and whatever else might fall out of Hagrid’s back fur. And Voldie’s feet are surely much smaller than Hagrid’s massive shoulders, so the foot massage has to be less time-consuming. Foot odor? That is nothing compared to whatever might arise if Hagrid had Taco Bell for dinner.
Shave Hagrid’s Back
Get real—each one of Voldemort’s toenails are probably as sharp as ninja swords and you’ll lose all your fingers. And for fun, he’ll use you as a foot-stool and probably kick a dark mark into your forehead.
With Hagrid’s back hair, it’s true you might need a small lawnmower to do the job correctly, and there will be enough hair leftover to weave a couple of rugs. But you know he’ll be so grateful. The gentle giant will make you a big cup of tea and offer you a rock cake. Then you can pet the fuzzy critters in his hut (avoiding the Skrewts), and ask his advice about all your problems (though we don’t know why