Musashi - Eiji Yoshikawa [150]
“Does that mean it’s wrong for a woman like me to exist? Because it might bring harm to Musashi?”
“Don’t twist what I said. I wasn’t talking about that. But no matter how much you love Musashi, he still runs away, doesn’t he? And I daresay you never will catch him!”
“I’m not doing this because I enjoy it. I can’t help it. I love him!”
“I don’t see you for a while, and the next thing I know, you’re carrying on like all the other women!”
“But can’t you see? Oh, never mind, let’s not talk about it anymore. A brilliant priest like you would never understand a woman’s feelings!”
“I don’t know how to answer that. It’s true, though; women do puzzle me.” Otsū turned away from him and said, “Let’s go, Jōtarō!”
As Takuan stood watching, the two of them started down a side road. With a sad flicker of his eyebrows, the monk came to the conclusion that there was nothing more for him to do. He called after her, “Aren’t you going to say good-bye to Sekishūsai before setting out on your own?”
“I’ll say good-bye to him in my heart. He knows I never meant to stay at his house this long anyway.”
“Won’t you reconsider?”
“Reconsider what?”
“Well, it was nice living in the mountains of Mimasaka, but it’s nice here too. It’s peaceful and quiet, and life is simple. Instead of seeing you go out in the ordinary world, with all its misery and hardships, I’d like to see you live your life out in peace, among these mountains and streams, like those nightingales we hear singing.”
“Ha, ha! Thanks so much, Takuan!”
Takuan sighed, realizing he was helpless before this strong-willed young woman, so determined to go blindly on her chosen way. “You may laugh, Otsū, but the path you are embarking on is one of darkness.”
“Darkness?”
“You were brought up in a temple. You should know that the path of darkness and desire leads only to frustration and misery—frustration and misery beyond salvation.”
“There’s never been a path of light for me, not since I was born.”
“But there is, there is!” Putting his last drop of energy into this plea, Takuan came up to the girl and took her hand. He wanted desperately for her to trust him.
“I’ll talk to Sekishūsai about it,” he offered. “About how you can live and be happy. You can find yourself a good husband here in Koyagyū, have children, and do the things that women do. You’d make this a better village. That would make you happier too.”
“I understand you’re trying to be helpful, but—”
“Do it! I beg you!”
Pulling her by the hand, he looked at Jōtarō and said, “You come too, boy!” Jōtarō shook his head decisively. “Not me. I’m going to follow my master.” “Well, do as you like, but at least go back to the castle and say good-bye to Sekishūsai.”
“Oh, I forgot!” gasped Jōtarō. “I left my mask there. I’ll go get it.” He streaked off, untroubled by paths of darkness and paths of light.
Otsū, however, stood still at the crossroads. Takuan relaxed, becoming again the old friend she had known before. He warned her of the dangers lurking in the life she was trying to lead and tried to convince her there were other ways to find happiness. Otsū remained unmoved.
Presently Jōtarō came running back with the mask over his face. Takuan froze when he saw it, instinctively feeling that this was the future face of Otsū, the one he would see after she had suffered on her long journey along the path of darkness.
“I’ll go now,” said Otsū, stepping away from him.
Jōtarō, clinging to her sleeve, said, “Yes, let’s go! Now!”
Takuan lifted his eyes to the white clouds, lamenting his failure. “There’s nothing more I can do,” he said. “The Buddha himself despaired of saving women.”
“Good-bye, Takuan,” said Otsū. “I’m bowing here to Sekishūsai, but would you also tell him thank you and good-bye for me?”
“Ah, even I’m beginning to think priests are crazy. Everywhere they go, they meet no one but people rushing toward hell.” Takuan raised his hands, let them drop and said very solemnly, “Otsū, if you begin to drown in the Six Evil Ways or the Three